"Daily Horoscope for Friday, Oct. 17
Stability is achieved under the moody Cancer moon by keeping a balance between duty and pleasure. Cancer's hard shell makes it possible for us to carry out business that would be difficult under other circumstance s. Protect your time, though -- you need your leisure now. Unstructured hours of peace and quiet at home are healing."
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23)
Your heart may be torn every which way, but decide on just one. Since you cannot fulfill the dreams of others, there's no point trying.
Upon the starlit sea of glass,
the broken shards
of very much too fast,
the storms of things just past,
and sharp the wizard's sword,
and Elvis in his leather clothes
would see just another lass.
what bumblebee,
is free to be
just what she wants to be,
and was Elvis just too fast,
upon that glassy sea,
the poignant shards of broken dream
look like up to me,
and
bleeds and bleeds and bleeds,
with Elvis on the dashboard,
Isoceles,
or Ice on willow trees,
reflections of who you used to be,
like glass in refracted light,
or was Elvis just too bright
as if you could leave it all alone
a second word, or tone,
the manner of a spinster's hurried moan,
the glue that never quite dried,
a child that could not lie,
despite the nature of the sea,
below the bumblebee.
Author notes
Claire's Birthday song
Written October 17th, 2003
In a list
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Comments
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good
It feels good to let an old write surface for air doesn't it! I do the same periodically. This was a creative write and it certainly had almost a whimsical read. I enjoyed your piece very much, thanks for sharing it again and keep up the good work! ~Tia -
You had a very original introduction that kept the surprise element. i really had no clue what to expect after that but I was not disappointed. It is perhaps a bit more abstract than what I am used to but beautiful nonetheless. A very well written piece with wonderful vivid imagery. I like the repetion and smooth transitions from one thing to another, very natural flow, too. Great work.
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nice work....anything like this is always fun to read...I like how you really know what your talking about....i like the emotion.keep it up!!!
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Somewhat confusing, but cool. I like the repetition, especially the Elvis references that keep changing. Also, awesome line:
the manner of a spinster's hurried moan
Interesting write! -
you should promote this i think her bday is quite soon.
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p.s.
i'm looking for something.
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Libra's are not boring.
hrmpf. -
this is a rather playful write ye 'ave here. lol.
i mushly enjoye the astrologicalcharts. seems to me that cancer is boring. i am cancer, but i 'ave way to much fun, must be on the cusp or something of that sort.
'Your heart may be torn every which way, but decide on just one.'
hmm, how would ye decide wich way you were getting ripped apart. hey, if ye ask me i say 'go for broke' why no try every which way.... or would ye rather leave some mystery for next time??
i enjoyed this muchly
arden
Edited on Oct 22, 8:14 because ''. -
I loved the lines:
Isoceles,
or Ice on willow trees,
reflections of who you used to be,
I loved those lines because I just was amazed by the rhythm of those words, isoceles or ice on willow trees, nice imagery, nice sound of words when spoken aloud.
I also loved the lines:
the manner of a spinster's hurried moan,
the glue that never quite dried,
a child that could not lie,
despite the nature of the sea,
below the bumblebee.
The glue that never quite dried, what great imagery in conjunction with the image of the spinster. I sometimes wonder if my sex life will be great when I am older, those lines made me think about that in subtle manner.
I loved this poem because its so abstract. I also enjoyed the introductionof horoscopes.. .very nice way to grab the readers attention.
I could probably read this poem a bunch of times and still get a new meaning each time. You're on my favorites list! Also, thanks for reading "Transition-inspired by tori amos..." I don't think though you need to see the video to understand the poem. The vide just inspired me to write. I think the video and my poem stands well on their own. Although, I agree it would be neat just to see the video to see what tori is talking about. thanks again.
-farzin-
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Thank you very very much I really love the poem, it's all glowy and shiny and I thought it was a bit like a fairy tale or something because of the wizards and I love things like that because theyre really magical. And I love Elvis because he had a quiff and a nice bum.
I really love the poem but Howard says that a spinster is somebody who cant get laid and I had sex this morning actually. -
Walking back in time; the posters, the songs, and SHE ...:
"is free to be
just what she wants to be"
Of course. It makes sense. A Moonsong. How sad that it fell from its sky to end in shards.
And still remains the Sun ...
Myra -
Not another sweet (dirty old) man!!!!
I likes, it is like nursery rhyme for grown people. Ode to the Claire. WooHoo! Legal, or some such ting.
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I would comment. But, I find myself hallow..so I'll just say hi.
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Rimbaud was a Libra. Bowie and my closest friend Capricorn. Me Cancer. Snapsnap. I don't snap at this. I like this. Bright and glowing like a nursery rhyme for adults.
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I like your use of repetition in this poem. It heps move the form & gives the poem a focus.
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Great write Lute for I am a Libra and my b-day is the 15th~ I enjoyed this very much and Happy Birthday to Claire also~
~ What a small world~ Big hugs 
and much love~ Desire
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I'm a Cancer myself, someday I may get it, Lung Cancer that is, smoked for too long, I miss smoking, no really, an addicts dream the drug they miss - of course I have a lot of those.
Well writ.
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Indeed, but we are under the influence of Cancer's Moon. I have edited this to reflect the worm's concerns.
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I thought Oct 17 was Libra or something. But I know nothing about astrologicalthings. Besides, Libras are boringly balanced, normal, never fall out with anyone and engage in small-talk most of the time, apparently. Can't be Urwin then. If it were you'd have a lot of explaining to do about the spinster thing. Heh. -
The inclusion of the horoscope ws a good idea. Rich images blended skilfully -- keep doing what you are doing! It's all good!
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urwin? or some other. sorry, but i know you're a fan so i jes had to ask. either way, it was captivating.
playful form.
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