Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read Contests Groups Learn Forums Store Help
 

Palm to Palm

         



Hands lock around veins that flow with each others names
Wrinkles turn into love lines as our skin becomes the same

Tips fall into cracks of innocence as sins entwine
Pulses beat in unison as our thoughts are combined

I leak loyalty into every crease of your embrace
Silent thoughts are coiled as our fingers are laced

Palms moisten as they etch eternity into our grip
We squeeze letters out of words that spell “We are lucky for this”

I trace dreams between your thumbs knowing there will never be another
Our fingers point out every reason we were made for each other


No index to assure us of what may lie ahead
Only in our palms, where our lives have been read





Layne Cirelli 2007





A contest entry

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression? Line numbers
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?) (Line numbers)

Comments

1 - 25 of 25

  • poeticweaver gold member
    February 25

    Edit | Reply

    Wow,

    Another well versed piece, thanks for sharing.
    Love that 2nd line. Wonderfully penned.

    Peace, Timothy


  • leander Moderators member
    January 31

    Edit | Reply
    I have to agree with the previous comment that your word choice is quite unique here and there the flow seemed a bit wobbly here and there, but that's probably because of the rhymescheme (which is pretty good actually)



    Leander

  • BermudaHighway
    December 8, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This is really beautiful. Your phrasing and word choice are very unique.

    "Tips fall into cracks of innocence as sins entwine
    Pulses beat in unison as our thoughts are combined"

    Those two lines sound perfectly paired, I love the near rhyme of innocence and unison.

    "I leak loyalty into every crease of your embrace
    Silent thoughts are coiled as our fingers are laced"

    This is such a perfect description of an embrace - melding into one. "Silent thought are coiled" is a really cool phrase.

    What an eloquently written piece! Glad you found in me!

    -Kate


    • Layne..
      December 8, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you for your wonderful comment, I am so glad you enjoyed this

  • checkXyesXjuliet
    November 11, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    this was simply adorable. this totally reminds me of old couples you see walking in the park... so cute

  • Symphonie
    November 10, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Oh, this was wonderful. It reminded me of like... people in general. I mean, in some way we are like... totally connected or something, you know? Great job.

    • Layne..
      November 10, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      First I have to say your picture looks just like Sienna Miller, i almost thought maybe you just really liked her and used her pic, haha. Thank you for your comment!
  • Nat
    November 8, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    The use of the palm as the center of this poem was so great and unique! As society, we should not look too far ahead as to where we go, but grasp the little spontaneous moments and run with it. But no matter where life takes us, there is a purpose. Your talent once again shows in this poem! Can't fault it!

    . Rewarded 6


    • Layne..
      November 10, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you Roti, another wonderful and detailed comment from you, I really appreciate it

  • Shakes-spear
    November 7, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    very nice

    Love is grand and even better if it is returned with the same strength. Good write, The Shaker


  • BungeeGirl
    November 7, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Your poems inspire me in a way that I haven't felt in years...

    • Layne..
      November 7, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      OHHHH, thats so touching, thank you so much, that means so much to me!
  • nothinghere silver member
    November 7, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This is gorgeous hun, I love the intimacy of this write, in love nothing says it better than the hands, a tender touch a brush of the cheek.... you write with passion and love.... it's beautiful to see

    Karen

    . Rewarded 4


    • Layne..
      November 7, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you so much, that means a lot, I am glad you enjoyed it

  • Josh0517
    November 5, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    WOW!! I love it baby, great job. I am glad you are back to the rhyming, you are way to talented to be just writing stories. This was my favorite line. "We squeeze letters out of words that spell “We are lucky for this”

    I love you!!!!


  • InnocenceAlive
    November 5, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Okay so the two-line preview caught my attention, but the whole poem was just AMAZING!!

    Good luck in that contest! You deserve something for it!


    • Layne..
      November 5, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you so much for your kind comment! I really appreciate it.

  • Swangrnv
    November 5, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    BRAVO!

    HEAR THAT SOUND?; It's the sound of another homerun hit out of the ballpark! great piece! oh my girl is definately bitten!

    . Rewarded 4


  • nessa1980
    November 5, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    "Only in our palms our lives have been read" Wow... The poems that you write about love are so romantic.... You two are so cute together and with every poem its like you are falling deeper in love with him.... Amazing.. As Usual...

  • moluv10
    November 5, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Sooo Beautiful! Palm to Palm, a perfect title for this. You write about your feelings so well. It inspires me to keep on writing and being creative. Good luck in the contest.


  • chrisl1360
    November 5, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    WOW!!

    This was so beautiful and powerful. The way you are able to put your feelings into writing is amazing. The words always seem to drip with creativity making it a great read!! Great job, I loved it!

1 - 25 of 25