I used to wonder, sometimes

Your tantalizing jest has left me
Deprived of my breath, just like always.
I wonder, sometimes, when you aren’t here,
How it could have been without you
Without your sweet breath on my face,
Without your strong hands around my waist.
I wonder, sometimes, what it might have been like
Had I not locked onto your smile that
One evening, amidst the white noise and
Blur of too many people in a small place.
There were so many faces;
I wonder why yours stood out.
I wonder, sometimes, what my days
Might have been like without your company:
Would I still be hiding in my apartment,
Praying for the sun and a grassy park
And a good book I did not yet own?
Would I have gone another day
Without a laugh, with nothing more than
A meek smile, without an
eye-opening conversation?
I wonder, sometimes, but why wonder
About those unhappy things
When I have you, standing there before me,
In wrinkled boxer shorts with that
Early morning smile spread across your face,
With your sleepy eyes that still manage
To give me that fluttery feeling I covet,
The sun illuminating that genuine loveliness
Behind them and creating a halo behind your
Dark auburn hair; you stand there,
Sipping your morning brew,
Leaning against the kitchen counter.
I love that the sunbeams pour through my
Apartment window and dapple your
Morning scruff, create a glint in your eye,
And dance across your chest,
That chest I laid my head across the night before.
I wonder, sometimes, but why wonder
When I have this to look forward to?
I smile back at you; me, standing there in
My cami and underwear, hair tossed out of my face,
Holding my cup of morning brew with both hands,
Leaning against the opposite counter.
I smile back at you, then cross the kitchen
To wrap myself around you; we stand there
For a while in a simple embrace, eyes closed,
Coffee on the counter,content faces drenched in
That early morning, golden sunlight.


I used to wonder, sometimes.


But you’ve stolen my thoughts,
And I don’t know why I used to wonder.