The electrical current
flows through
closed doors
barricaded by
misguided wisdom
plastic conductors
melt down minds
playing tight
rope games
on imaganery
boundaries
off balance
humor squeeks
through rusted
hinges
all the while
prying blind
eyes toward
floating ideals.
A contest entry
- Semi-Quickie - Help me write abstract/metaphor/freeverse again! by Ryno.
300 points, ended November 5, 2007, 8 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Doors by CarCrashHumor.
1200 points, ended June 1, 2008, 32 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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not sure what else I can say that other commenters haven't said already... but I thought the words chosen for this piece were great and very fitting. it came together very nicely.
thanks for sharing it in my contest! -
So many trains of thought derailed by plastic conductors forcing us to exit before the place we want to stop.
premature expressions disembark into avenues of dead ends, wandering endlessly, and only acceptance ofothers ideals allow us to reboard the gravy trains. superb work.~~Artis
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Awesome idea behind this; it almost reminds me of stalkers in away. What people do in private is private and these people are sticking there nose into their lives. Almost makes me angry. I liked the idea behind the metaphor of a plastic conductor, no matter how much we try, loved ones/friends will always be trying to get into our minds, no matter how much we keep to ourselves. Great write, thank-you for the entry.
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Nice take on the prompt.
I was drawn to read it
as if electically
opposing poles
were pulling me.
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