I
I close my eyes, feel small against
the dense black waiting there for me,
makes me cling to voice,
vision, breath minnowing from
I
(feel chest deflate,
punctured, and petals of the
cyclic rose in my core
furl, unfurl,
like sails,
takes me through waterways
too narrow,
ground to powder)
and remain I here
within this silence, utterly selfless-
without myself.
II
I close my eyes, shrink beneath
this spotlight,
this Godlight.
I swim in it, a fish, gills flare
for oxygen, take it in,
the bowl curves
(far, close, far,
depending how I lean)
I lean into where I was born,
reverting to embyro
swimming in
this womb-
Slid out, born to buffeting
sound waves,
forced into thought,
soul, and body minnowing
towards
I
(inflate ego,
tissues bloom, curl to
where life breathes first)
The universe spreads,
a map unfolded
and I hide in the creases,
beneath this spotlight,
this
Godlight.
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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This is really good and interesting,
never seen anything like it, you are a really good poet
i like the bit where it goes; within this silence, utterly selfless-
without myself.
keep writiing
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I really like this, and it's also refreshing and different to see such a change in your formatting style, it completely changes the flow style of the poem. I really like it, although of course I will always love your old work as well
I always do love your metaphors, they're so original, and you're language, like how you used the word "minnowing" which shall be my new favorite word MWAHAHAHA! Sorry....lol.
Anywaysss, love this. Keep up the excellent work, post/write when you can, and I will do my best to faithfully read and comment
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This is wonderful, are you really 15 years old? You have amazing talent for someone so young! Keep it up!
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well i'll be 15 in a coupla months...thank you so much for the comment
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