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I Am Not

Missing image

I am not………..

A Sin

I am not……….

Weakness of Willpower

I am not……..

A Genetic Defect

I am not…….

mental illness

I am not……

result of bad childhood

I am not…..

a character defect

I am not……

a simple bad habit.

 

Who am I?

I am Betty Ford,

I am George W. Bush, Jr.

I am Patrick Kennedy, Keith Urban, Rush Limbaugh.

I am a trio, Britney Spears, Lindsay Lohen, and Paris Hilton.

I am the heartache of Whitney Houston and Bobby Brown. 

I am the stuttering Ozzie Osbourne struggling to live.

I am your next door neighbor, I am your dearest friend. 

 

Who am I?

I am an….AN ADDICT….

I struggle to Recover.

I wrestle compulsion, thoughts on use,

How will I get by without some form of numbing release?

I seek each day your compassion please, for I have

Lost "predictability,"   I fight enemies of “inabilities”

Fearful that once I start, I cannot stop.

 

We reach out to you today,

 “ if you see me get in trouble as a result of losing my battle?"

 WE ask for your compassion, not judgement,

we thirst for understanding.

Your Strength we seek, need to hear in your voice,

see in your Life. Show us, teach how you cope.

 

What would you say, now that you know today,

To voices of those who drowned  so long ago.

What lifelines, what wise ryhmes would you offer now?

Are you like us, do you wrestle with cultural amnesia?

 

Marilyn Monroe, Elvis Presley, Jimi Hendrix,

Jim Morrison, Kurt Cobain?

John Belushi, Anna Nicole, Mickey Mantle, Janis Joplin, Dudley Moore.

Do you sing over the rainbow with little Judy Garland?

Can you hear the rhythums & beat of Frankie Lymon's big smile.

And most harsh of all, Adolph Hitler.

Just speaking his name makes ME grimace.

Dead addicts lost to addiction compulsion.

 

 I break the myths you blindly

protect yourself with,

hear my voice, I pray, I stand here today

to convince you of this:

 

I am not

a sin,

 weakness of willpower,

genetic defect

or mental illness.

I am not a result of bad childhood,

character defect, and

this is not a simple bad habit. 

I am an addict. 

 

Source: American Medical Association

Addiction: chemical dependency progressive, incurable, fatal disease.

It can be arrested, if Abstinence is practiced. Strong tendency to relapse.

Particularly if no education about chemical dependency, No emotional support, no direction

For a chemical free life, therapy, alcoholics/na anonymous, alternative and esteem building.

Chemical Dependency is a chronic progressive disease, once you have it, you will always have

It, and left UNTREATED, it will get worse.

 

As Poets, we can hide in the myths,

or serve

Words of encouragement and truth.

What can I do? 

Write powerfully, break through, struggle and

Live free of chemical dependence.

Live & Struggle Powerfully

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Author notes

My husband presently is in outpatient therapy, he has
reached out for help because once he has one beer, he
needs 10-12-14 more to help him sleep and cope.
Each person stood up in group, together they said,
their voice loud and blending:

I am not...
and listed each myth.
I am not a sin,
I am not a weakness of will power..each believed myth.

I WAS SO HUMBLED. Their Voices broke through leaving me in tears.

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 45 of 45

  • GonewiththeWind
    April 23

    Edit | Reply
    Very touching write...so many cry out and are not heard..but this write helps open peoples eyes to listen and look deeper into people around you...there is often far more than meets the eye going on...Thank you for sharing this


  • Reanna Eryn
    April 23

    Edit | Reply
    This is so beautiful. For some reason, this spoke to me. I love all of this, but expecially the part where it saysI am not………..

    A Sin

    I am not……….

    Weakness of Willpower

    I am not……..

    A Genetic Defect

    I am not…….

    mental illness

    I am not……

    result of bad childhood

    I am not…..

    a character defect

    I am not……

    a simple bad habit.
    I believe that it's hard to admit that in this society in this age. It's an amazing feeling when you get that off your chest. Good write, keep on writing.

  • Macsword
    April 23
    Edit | Reply

    These words...

    can change lives. Well done poet and God bless.


  • perfectsunset gold member
    April 23

    Edit | Reply
    Wow, this one spoke to me
    personally. And nearly brought
    tears to my eyes. I am scheduled
    to see a doctor to start medication
    for depression, possible bi-polar
    disorder, anxiety, and whatever
    else may be wrong with me. But
    I felt God was trying to speak to
    me through this poem and tell me
    I only need him, and not all medicine.

    Thank you for that, for opening
    my eyes. This was so deeply
    powerful and speaks volumes.
    Truly touching, inspiring,
    heartfelt & REAL>

    Beautifully written from the heart


  • Lamia Luna Avaritia
    April 23

    Edit | Reply
    I enjoyed this peice. I think many times people try to classify who we are by what our past is. We hear what they have gone through and attribute who they are what they are like, even form excuses for them, becuase of that very past. The funny thing is that we so easily judge another person on their past, yet when we ourselves are judged we want them to know us for who we truely are, not just the wrong of us...and perhaps even our parents. No, we want them to knwoa ll of our being before casting such a harsh judgement....I think this has beutiful insight. It shows how you should look past person, find out what makes them tick, and not just take a past alone as the final evidence. Thank you so much for sharing. I truely enjoyed this. I look forward to reading more of your works. keep penning.

    ~Lamia


  • LovesWithTheBreeze
    March 28, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This was incredibly moving and exactly what this contest calls for...i very much appreciate your entry. Thank you for deciding to put this into the contest and good luck to you


  • EmmaLuLu
    March 28, 2008
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    LOVE THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


  • mzmikki
    February 22, 2008

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    This is beautiful.... I am actually crying.... People are always so quick to judge thosewho have "fallen from grace"... This my love is the truth...


  • SweetLeaf
    February 1, 2008

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    whoa. I'm glad I stumbled upon this!! This is amazing!!! Truely. very 'make you think' (i didnt want to take mysteryman15's word!) lol great write!

  • mysteryman15
    January 28, 2008
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    very thought provoking, i liked it

  • Uriah Hamilton
    January 25, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Life is struggle, no human is bad, just deeds, we all can overcome and find beauty.
    Uriah Hamilto


  • Tercil gold member
    January 25, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Much here that tells me you are a great believer in fate and what will be will be. It's that simple. To scourge this lovely work, would demean it in that in its entirity, it holds out on hope, and much being cured is to ask not for much, but to be pleasantly surprised on any outcome. I think this is positive enough!


  • Thunder Child
    January 25, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    WOW!!!! this is REALLY REALLY REALLY good!!! alot of the poems on here i have to read more than once to understand the meaning, but it was clear in this one, exellent job!!!


  • storiesuntold gold member
    January 25, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    It should have won gold this write

    For s I have a nephew that is dependant on drugs and has battled it and lost many times and needing him to get help .But the help is limited and they charge so much that the ordinary young man or woman arent able to get the help so needed . Its so sad for I try to talk to kids alll the time to let them know to venture into that realm are they truly ready to die through such severe pain and self destruction . It is so wonderful your husband found the help he so needed and had the strength to follow through . So many today are pushed aside and abandoned by their families leaving them homeless and so very sick out on our streets today . God Bless and hold them all for our society is abusing our young people every day uncareing of the consiquinces Excellent write here excellent


  • O.o
    December 25, 2007

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    Fantastic work. I was really touched by your poem. It really got me thinking. Well done and thanks for entering.


  • Beating gold member
    December 13, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Wow! I want to try that!
    I really like this poem because of it's powerful message and the idea that you bring. It's very well written!
    I'm sorry about your husband - hopefully he'll get better!


  • seamaiden
    November 15, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    You spoke powerful words here and I have seen addiction very close to home. Friends that died because of deals gone bad or overdosing. Friends that were alcoholics before they even got out of the teen years. Addiction is not just drugs though. They say the first step is admitting there is a problem if you want to end the addiction. You are so right that once you are you always are. Thank you for sharing and good luck in the contests you have entered. Excellent write. seamaiden ♥

  • Acidanthra
    November 15, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    This was a very thought provoking write I have to say first off. I am an addict also, and your poem made me think very hard about what I am doing to myself as well as others. The addiction is the demon driving me. Well written piece and good luck in the contest!


  • karma-n-peace
    November 11, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Wow, what an excellent write.
    I am sorry that you and your husband are dealing with such a cunning disease.
    Your words are not only beautiful but accurate.
    Thank you for sharing this!
    I thought I had commented on this before but I am glad I decided to come back and read it again so I can be sure to comment this time
    Wonderful piece.


  • luna-midnight gold member
    November 10, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    wow these are very powerful words, quite an amazing write.
    Thanks for the entry and good luck
    stephanie =]


  • cricketjeff gold member
    November 8, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Powerful and compelling

    I don't think it is possible to comment on it purely as poetry but as an exploration of an addictive personality pulled me right through to the end. Thank-you


  • twaintwine
    November 8, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Preachy

    You had me until the voice shifted from "I" to "We". I love the beginning, but why repeat it? Economy is Power! The list of famous names and their associations work for the most part, though become overwhelming, and I dare say, boring. Cut 'em down to the most poetically satisfying. You don't have to list every famous person in contemporary memory to prove your point. You are overdoing it. Perhaps you are addicted to metaphor? Well, for that I can forgive you! This is an excellent place to start. You have a lot to work with. Now hone it. Enjoyed it: especially the Ozzy reference!


  • Stickboy
    November 8, 2007
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    I allready commented on this but its still a great post


  • Gods-Artgal
    November 8, 2007
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    This is a great poem. I love how strong the words sound when I read this poem.


  • VirginiaDarling
    November 8, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Very powerful write, I understand this so much, my husband also had an addiction problem. I stood by and helped all I could, now happy to say he is a year clean. This was a very true write. Keep up the perfect work.


  • SpydurPoet gold member
    November 8, 2007

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    Damn. That was absolutely powerful and beautifully truthful. I loved this. Best of luck to you in all the contests that you entered this in.
    Write on.
    ~*~SP~*~


  • Death of the Author
    November 7, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This is indeed very inspiring and I like the way you have written it. I think the best bits were the famous people who you mention - though I think some are better than others, take Elvis Presley, a musician and compare it to Paris Hilton who is just famous for being famous. Yes she may have an addiction, but I don't think she is the best person to compare for a role model. None of them are, but at least some of them did something with their lives. This is just a rant, I'm sorry, I have a thing about so called "celebrity" nowadays. It doesn't take anything away from your poem I'd like to add.

    This poem captured my...heart I guess...it somehow worked it's way into me. I hope you and your husband can get through it together. Thank you for entering and good luck in the contests x take care x


  • Falecurst
    November 7, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Hey Kathleen, that was an amazing poem (what poem mentioning Janis Joplin could be otherwise?) I always tend to sort of chant out the lines of a poem as I read and this got those chants to a captivating and original flow. It's good how you put so many variously influential names up there, there has to be at least one name in the poem for anyone who reads it to relate to. Powwerful stuff.
    Much strength to your husband.

    -Falecurst


  • Samantha Mula
    November 7, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    First I have to applaud you on your lack of selfishness and your obvious compassion.

    This is an absolutley remarkable piece of work and I emplore you to continue sharing it with others.

    I know that there are many people who struggle with this disease of addiction, not only the addicts themselves but also those closest to them.
    My father is an alcholic, and my mother has for many years been trying cope with his addiction, with your permission I would like to share this inspiration with them.

    Although BRILLIANT, I can not reward your entry, as its not quite what I was looking for.

    May you be blessed with recovery. I'm so glad this found me - THANK YOU.


  • opaqueangel
    November 6, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Wow this is a peice that I can truey relate with. Once you get in a situation such as this it is hard to get out, to break the cycle, then others see you only as the people who have struggled with this before and not as an induvidual with your own set of needs, especial the need for understanding and compassion! There is nothing that I would change about this peice, it has a very strong and powerfull message, and to change even one line would take away from the impact. You are a very insitefull poet who understands this situation all too well. If we all out stretched a helping hand and lent some understanding, if we all open our eyes and minds to the plight of others maybe we can break the cycle! Great write and good luck. There is only one other thing that i must say for the simple fact that you have entered this in my rewards contest....this is not a rewards poem and you now have 24 hours to correct this or i must dq this peice....i don't want to. thanx.


  • only1love4ever
    November 6, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Wow, that truly sent chills down my spine, thank god your husband made it thru. This subject relates to me, greatly. My mother, and half of my family are struggling with drugs. Recently my aunt has gone to impatient, and is going on with the therapy. Thank you for writing such a wonderfuly poem, this reaches to my heart in all ways. ANd best of luck


  • Rebekah-Ann silver member
    November 6, 2007

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    I must agree with wayne on this. Very inspiring!

    this is true for more than just addiction. I believe it takes character and emotional strength to be able to overcome addictions.

    Stay strong!

    Becks


  • Wayne Leon Learmond
    November 6, 2007

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    INSPIRATION IN WORDS

    STUNNING PIECE OF WRITING HERE. HARD-HITTING AND SO TRUE TOO. SO HAPPY THAT YOUR HUSBAND IS IN RECOVERY NOW. IT IS VERY VERY EMOTIONAL INDEED AND REALLY QUITE INSPIRED. WELL DONE FOR THIS KATH. BEAUTIFUL WRITING.

    WAYNE
    XX


  • Auburn Sunrise gold member
    November 5, 2007

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    I also wanted to point out that this poem works not only for addictions... but for any kind of self-loathing or depression.


  • Auburn Sunrise gold member
    November 5, 2007
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    amazing

    What an incredible statement of strength and willpower.
    I love this. I am going to say it myself. And any time I feel down, I'm going to come back to this poem and make myself recite those lines again and again.
    I love how you used famous people to prove your case. There was an idol in there to grab everyone's attention (for me, it was Kurt Cobain - an extremely talented artist/musician who died far too soon and robbed the world of all else could have offered - such a tragic waste).
    Thank you for reminding me that we are all worthy of life, we all have a purpose, and what a tragedy, a pathetic waste, it is when we cut our lives short through addictions and other self-destructive behaviors.
    I hope all goes well for your husband. He is lucky to have you, an angel, by his side!


  • Lost Emo
    November 5, 2007
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    wow great poem, really got my attension this. i hope your husband recovers soon. great write


  • TheClimb
    November 5, 2007

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    I'm am glad that your husband is in recovery--that is a step! This piece was inspiring and the way that you said that they stood up and said each myth, reminds me of Rent (if you've ever seen the movie). This is as inspiring and inspirational as you hoped---God bless!


  • JinSays gold member
    November 4, 2007

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    This is wonderful news, that your husband is in recovery. I wish you all the best. Breaking dependence is a difficult thing, on a good day, the picture at the bottom was a great closer for this piece.
    Put as eloquent, I couldn't have done better..
    Blessings to you all
    Jin


  • Pandorea
    November 4, 2007

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    AMAZING!!!!! powerful piece - more people should wriet like this, rather than selfpitying bull. I admire you, and this poem, greatl.y


  • ShadowEyes
    November 4, 2007

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    I love this!!!!!!!! it's really well thought out and well worded. you did a great job writing this! it's just... wow. nice work! keep it up!

    Shadow


  • Taco Bellian Paige
    November 4, 2007

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    Whoa.

    wow! This is really uplifting and inspiring, it tells me you've been through alot of course, but that you have made it through the hardest of trials. You believe in yourself and enjoy it. This IS one of the best poems I have ever read.

    Nice write, Paige


  • LadyShiva
    November 4, 2007

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    Wow...I am stunned by this piece, very powerful words, I love the message in them! Good luck to you and your family and I wish you all the best!!


  • Stickboy
    November 4, 2007

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    thi is a very powerful write my prayers are with you and your husband he can over come this God bless you
    Sean


  • AddictiveTRUTH
    November 4, 2007

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    Wow....speechless, but this is a great write
    a lesson all in one.

    Ephiphany


  • Poetic Tasha Moderators member
    November 4, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    WOW
    not quite sure what else to say

    TAsha

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