Orchestrating
a whole
conversation
on a
gravestone,
were the
heartfelt
words that
expressed:
"I'm Sorry"
Author notes
Dark!!! Lately, that's what I've been writing. I prefer it to other genres, but can't ever seem to write a good dark write. I love this one! It made me think sooo much after I read it the first time. I think of the many times that I have come to regret something and wish myself that I could have had the chance to say something to someone.
1 year, 3-4 months
Wynsom Trouble
16
3-4 times daily
A contest entry
- 2007 - everything under 25 lines by leander.
1000 points, ended January 17, 2008, 167 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Audition Round by Blooming Poet.
300 points, ended May 14, 2008, 34 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Sorry Brother by Falcon SilverWolf.
300 points, ended September 23, 2008, 9 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Your BEST short prewrites! by perfectsunset.
550 points, ended April 13, 69 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Critical Critiques Welcome!!!!!!!
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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Aww how deeply emotional
and heart grasping.
A very well written piece.
Thanks for entering & best of luck
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hmm very short and sweet i enjoyed it immensly
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This said so much with so few words. I can really feel your pain. Congrats you have made past the audition round.
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50/50 for following rules
15/25 for overall poetic ability
15/25 for Creativity in writing, pics or backgrounds added. -
i like this its dose not take much for something to be so deep. and i love the feeling this write gives off thankyou for posting it. keep up the good work.
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Interesting visual. It does open you up to wonder what the story was behind that one. Great write.
♥
whisper
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This is indeed quite dark what you have written here, although there's also a tinge of sadness within the words as well. This is short and to the point, containting good visuals within the lines.
Thank you for entering the contest, I wish you the best of luck!
Leander -
This is certainly an interesting peice of material. Is it you who are saying sorry or is this just how you feel?
It is a nice write KEEP IT UP.
Osiris
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I'm not sure...I do like this piece reasonably...but I feel that certain parts of it could have definitely could have been worded differently. I understand that it is meant to be short, but instead of "were the heartfelt words that expressed: I'm sorry"...maybe you want to say "are the words..." I don't know...it kinda contradicts the overall tone to me with that way you have it. But I really like it, so...congrads.
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against my will i decided to read this piece, but i have to admit that i actually liked it quite a lot, I enjoy and love dark poetry, this was short but powerfull, although i would drop the capitals in each beginning of sentece and try to group it in a bit more, but still i think is great maybe just a little bit more of work.
Leslie
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