The twinkling stars on sky
At the ceiling of the night
An' the moon that shines
To make the night bright
They're what you call,
Rays of Hope
Smile on the face of a child
When the sorrows surround
An' little laughters among tears
Make the world go round,
They're what you call,
Rays of Hope
Those little words of comfort
When one fails the goal,
An' seeing the lights far ahead
Does comforts one's soul
They're what you call,
Rays of Hope
Dreams of large palaces
On which the poors survive
An' those little little joys
Are the reason they're alive
They're what you call,
Rays of Hope
A hand wiping the tears
Of a friend left alone
An' saying,"I'm with you"
Will give him a new tone
They're what you call,
Rays of Hope
An' hope is the soul of joys
That carries away from crys'
Every goal it helps to seek
An' takes from grave to peak
So, that's what you call,
Ray of HOPE! &Ray OF Life!
How does my poem expresses me?
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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Wonderful
Considering the title the font could be slightly lighter (for contrast
...jk)
I should've looked at this before... The first stanza I found...wonderful
And the second.. Let me read the rest
Well the thoughts in this are brilliantly expressed. For me this is one of those that should be preserved especially for posterity.
"Those little words of comfort...Does comfort one's soul..." True and touching. The rest follows on from this, and you maintain its tone and originality as well as we could ask.
The images I love... "Dreams of large palaces" is contrasted nicely with the picture of the poor, and the ending is I think the peak of the poem...because every image and idea expressed is a piece of the puzzle that you're presenting to us - from the stars, to the face of a child, from grave to peak...and each interlinked with the one idea of the ray of Hope.
There are a few minor grammatical errors...'poors' should probably be 'poor', and maybe 'crys' is meant to be cries... Doesn't matter really.
This is one of my favourites. I'll bookmark it.
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nicest of poem it is.sis.if u keep up likethis u ll be a great pet like johnkeats.really.impressed.
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This is a good poem. A piece you can re-read and ponder upon.. The flow and rhyming was good too.. my favourite part was the hand wiping the tears and telling that im with you.. that does give a lot of hope.. Ray of Hope.. It is only for us to see, it is there even during the darkest of the night! Good to see another Pakistani writing so well.. Keep writing
Love, ~ Lonely
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very good
good to see a poem that breaks through the gloom and doom of the human nature,Very good read I enjoyed it
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Welcome To Allpoetry
It expresses that you see hope and possibilities in all things. And also that you share these things with others. Great message you have written and shared. AP is pleased to have you here and we all hope that you enjoy the site. : If you have any questions, just ask! We are here to assist you.
JeannieD
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Very Nice
the last line, Ray of hope! and ray of life: i think this should be revised a little. i feel that it sort of contrasts to the more mature wording above it. over all, good work. hope to see more. -
Your words are a ray of hope that there is still some beauty within people's minds in the sometimes dreary world we live in. Welcome to AP, I hope you enjoy it here and look forward to reading more of your poetry.
Take care
Margaret
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Thanx!
You are really encouraging.I am a ne w one so I really needed that.Thanx again Margarrt!
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that's all right
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