the swish of broom on cement -
golden autumn curls,
summer’s cottonwood snowfall,
muddy toddler bootprints
swept from her paths;
drawers magically refilled
with clean laundry;
a white bakery bag on the counter
with her favorite treat
smile of welcome,
clutterless peace;
fragrance of a ready supper
heavily seasoned
with love;
that library book
he’d been hoping for
waiting on his desk
unspoken offerings
of the heart,
notice unrequired -
just the warming satisfaction
of having stolen a little labor from
or
slipped a little extra pleasure into
one another’s day
A contest entry
- Early in the Morning by Utok Bulinaw.
450 points, ended November 16, 2007, 13 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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I love the picture of morning you've painted here - the serene mood, the pleasure of smiles from your loved ones. And such unforgettable visuals like the muddy toddler bootprints. I think the word "evicted" in the fifth line of the first stanza seem to be a little bit austere for this gentle write. The simple language too contributes to the tenderness this piece possesses. All in all, this is truly a delightful poem and I enjoyed it immensely. Thank you for entering.
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Great imagery with this I enjoyed reading it too Good luck in the contest with it
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Thank you, PoovyLou, for your kind comment and clappies! I am pleased you enjoyed it
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Oh, this is lovely! Small wonders, small gestures of love mean so much. This makes me want to cry, actually.
I don't think you need "heavily seasoned
with love;". That is apparent from the rest of the poem.
I need to go find some clean white tee shirts to fold...
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Thank you, Freed by Mercy, for your comment and applause.
The contest judge has viewed, so I think I should wait until after the contest is over to try revising. I appreciate your insight.
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