Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read • Contests • Groups • Learn • Forums • Store • Help
 

Invisible

Missing image

The door slowly creaked open as he stepped through

the threshold, into the sunlight and fresh air.

Leaving the public house, a depository for human waste...
The place he calls home.

 

Alone and unwanted, courage mustered he faces the day
in a world of cruel survival where he's not needed or even noticed.

 

Heart on his sleeve, he crosses the road slowly.
Praying for it to happen.

Will this be the day that two tons of metal,
a grim reaper on four wheels doesn't miss him.

 

On the far side of the road he steps onto the sidewalk
and sighs, not today, maybe tomorrow will be his day.

 

He enters the park

A daytime refuge from a destitude life.
Bones brittle, joints swollen, each step, in agonizing pain.

 

He reaches the fountain, his well spring of life.
Hands cupped, he drinks his fill.

Reaching down he washes his hands and face.

No dignity gained when your clothes smell like urine.

 

The park bench's call to him.
He picks the one warming in the sun and sighs with relief,

as the death chill leaches out from his tired, old bones.


Lying an open cigar box at his feet, he gets to work.

Pity his only income.

 

Hunger gnawing, patiently he waits.

The departing picnic, to discards their waste.
His daily dinner bell rings come hither.

Quickly he moves, with each agonizing step
a little bit closer to the garbage he hopes is still warm.

 

Another day survived, he stops at the fountain, for one final drink.

 

As the sun slowly sets, he makes his way through

the evening gridlock and thinks to himself

maybe tomorrow, please God tomorrow.

 

He re-enters the public house.
Stepping into the last stall he lays down for the night.

 

Once again he prays.
Salty tears roll down his cheeks,

stinging cracked lips and still he prays.

 

For years the same prayer.
Tomorrow God.
Please let it be tomorrow!

Author notes

Waiting for a train at 30th Street Station in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. I saw a very old homeless person who will probably not make it through this comming winter. I was filled with a deep saddness and I slipped into what I believed to be his mind set and cried.
This poem is what came out of the experiance.

 



In a list

A contest entry

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 29 of 29
  • Judith Chandler
    November 11

    Edit | Reply
    "Pity, his only income." What a great image. I would suggest a spell and grammar check. I'll give you two days. It's a moving poem though, especially the part about his hopeful trip across the road. Moving and graphic.

    Thank you for entering my contest.


  • Desire gold member
    October 11

    Edit | Reply

    Oh My~

    Wow~ this is a Beauty Bill and the Heart cries...
    for the cold of a season...pierces the skin...
    to the Soul~ and the frigid frowns from a brethren
    can pierce even deeper~
    It saddens me to see one down and out...
    on the street...wearing the same clothes...with
    caked sweat~ I pray this person finds opportunity
    for Life to change for better~ many have...it is
    possible~ how I grow Impatient...waiting

    Your words swell the eyes~....
    Congratulations on Your shinies!
    -throws confetti-
    Woot~

    Thank You for sharing Your Voice
    Best wishes in all You do
    with love & light~ Desire~*~


  • TheQueenOfPoetry
    September 30

    Edit | Reply
    Jesus Christ said: “You have the poor always with you.”—John 12:8.

    The Bible foretells: “Not always will the poor one be forgotten, nor will the hope of the meek ones ever perish.” (Psalm 9:18)


    Matthew 6:26-32. Observe intently the birds of heaven, because they do not sow seed or reap or gather into storehouses; still YOUR heavenly Father feeds them. Are YOU not worth more than they are? 27 Who of YOU by being anxious can add one cubit to his life span? 28 Also, on the matter of clothing, why are YOU anxious? Take a lesson from the lilies of the field, how they are growing; they do not toil, nor do they spin; 29 but I say to YOU that not even Sol′o·mon in all his glory was arrayed as one of these. 30 If, now, God thus clothes the vegetation of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much rather clothe YOU, YOU with little faith? 31 So never be anxious and say, ‘What are we to eat?’ or, ‘What are we to drink?’ or, ‘What are we to put on?’ 32 For all these are the things the nations are eagerly pursuing. For YOUR heavenly Father knows YOU need all these things.

    These scriptures comfort me whenever I see someone homeless. Nice poem. I understand how you feel.



  • Swan song gold member
    September 5

    Edit | Reply
    nicely done very discriptive and effective thank you for sharing


  • Lyndon gold member
    May 6
    Edit | Reply

    What you have done or attempted

    is a creative and laudable thing to do.
    If you are a Winkler, you may always pass a poem, by IM, past my nose. I WILL help with typos. Promise.
    This is a fine stanza:
    "As the sun slowly sets, he makes his way
    through the evening gridlock and thinks...
    maybe tomorrow, please God tomorrow!"

    Best wishes, Ron of the Winklings.


  • koshkka
    March 28
    Edit | Reply
    sorry if you were offended by my comment, I am used to reading from a critical point of view, for those who have a thicker skin I suppose, since critisism is what makes us better writers. Spelling errors are the biggest factor in taking a piece seriously, and I was surprised no one has mentioned them to you. I am kind of newer here and I wasn't aware of the message option. Again, my apologies, I didn't realize that folks don't crit here, or that I came off rude.
    Good luck in the contest. =-)


  • koshkka
    March 28

    Edit | Reply
    I find it hard to believe on a poetry site that no one has pointed out the spelling mistakes in this poem. even the title! come on, this is a contest entry. find your mistakes and fix them up.


    • BluesMan gold member
      March 28
      Edit | Reply

      Thank you for pointing out my mistakes...

      In the future, when commenting on a fellow poets work, I think you need to brush up on your bed side manner. When pointing out mistakes I useually do it in a message to avoid embarrising the poet. Also if you don't agree with that, you should at least be more polite when pointing out mistakes and have the courtesy to comment on the quality of the poem as a whole. My spelling sucks! I know that it hasn't changed very much since the 3rd grade. Also the spell checker in my PC is virtually non existant.


  • Everlasting Ellen
    March 27

    Edit | Reply
    This is sad Its so full of imagery and insight, you really bring out how he must feel... its a very moving write. Thank you for entering


  • Fulabeans
    March 27

    Edit | Reply

    Very Sad

    I am moved...this one...this one made me cry.

    The whole thing was just sad...an amazing poem indeed...thank you for yor write...thank you for the insight.

    well done, and thaks for entering,
    -Dusty-


  • UnknownFemale
    March 19

    Edit | Reply
    Very moving poem. Homelessness is a tragedy we need to fix, and can be, if we could move forward from our money-based society which leaves many cold, hungry and dead on the street.
    Thank you for your entry, and good luck!


  • katie-jo
    January 24

    Edit | Reply
    This is so very very sad. I can't believe how vivid and detailed this is, so amazing.
    Thank you for sharing & entering & bringing a different perspective and side of loneliness.

    --red


  • Ginger Woods
    January 1

    Edit | Reply
    This is so sad, how can people be so cruel when they have so much to not help those in need? Thank you for entering my contest, and good luck.

  • piccola silver member
    November 26, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    this is so deep with emotion and sadly touching. Reminds me of my son who is homeless and now trying to deal with the elements. It's a long, painful story but anyway, your write is filled with imagery I too well understand. thank you for intering

    • BluesMan gold member
      November 27, 2008
      Edit | Reply

      Back in the seventies, in my teen years, this story to a great extent could have been about me.


  • dustytiger
    November 14, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    wow this is really, really sad, i can feel for the poor man, it makes me think of geroge orwell's down and out in paris and london, just the way you wrote this, i know it's about modern times, but i still can't help but think he coudl be a person in that book, best of luck in the contest


  • RatherImaginative silver member
    September 24, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    The imagery in this piece is raw and very moving, communicating the individual's situation most descriptively. I will, unfortunately, have to remove it from my contest, as it doesn't follow my no other contests before mine rule. Please feel welcome to enter another, though.


  • TheDemonEve
    May 30, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Sad, and you put yourself in his place so well!
    You have talent, and you are not afraid to use it even in delicate matters. This is the mark of a true writer! Well done.

    Best of luck and thanks for entering!


  • Blooming Poet
    May 19, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    So sad. the emotions here and so poetically displayed and tell a very sad story. Thanks for entering and good luck


  • lilblueeyesmine1978
    May 7, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    this is wonderful. thank you so much fro adding this to my contest. I will be adding this to the finalists list. The story behind the poem makes it even morw heartfelt. I have only spent a few nights comepletely homeless thank god. But I remember worrying about the health of my children.

  • Wanted By You
    January 25, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Wow, probabaly the best poem I've read so far in this contest.


  • flaed
    January 13, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    this is good i like it. thank you


  • Walk-Free
    December 7, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    WOW, I'm impressed over here..

    Emotions were felt, the desperation and sadness.

    Thanks so much for this entry!


  • Naridill
    December 5, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    The flow was disturbed by lack of spacing. Apart from that, this was beautiful sad and poetically moving.

    Thanks for entering
    & you are being removed but all poems which don't make pre-lims will be.


  • Whispered Secrets
    November 10, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I liked this poem.

    I'm sorry that you couldn't pay attention though. I hope that man made it past winter.

  • Destined4Destruction
    November 5, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    What a wonderful poem...I almost could feel is desperation and also his readiness for death....Brilliant...


  • aslanlight
    November 3, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I have many homeless friends and have been without a home myself briefly so I relate a little bit. You have a beautiful, empathic soul and are full of love. I'm glad you've chosen poetry as your outlet so I can catch a glimpse of you.

    I often find that the ones who seemingly have nothing and have experienced deep suffering are the ones who have much more than we can imagine inside them. They have real depth. Did you take a look in his eyes?

    Peace Georgia

    • BluesMan gold member
      November 4, 2007
      Edit | Reply

      Yes I did look in his eyes and saw my youth in his old age before the hand of God pulled me out of hell and pointed me in the right direction! Bill


      • aslanlight
        November 4, 2007
        Edit | Reply
        I expect that this old man, who's known so much suffering knows love, in other words because he's been hungry he'd give his last piece of bread to a starving child. This is the kind of depth I'm talking about.

1 - 29 of 29