On New Year's Eve I babysat once.
But the New Years before that,
I went to a party consisting of...
Five male nerds in a clean house,
With soda to drink and pizza to eat,
And Legends of Zelda or
Sonic the Hedgehog to play.
After that party, we crashed another one,
Consisting of...
Three nerds in one of their mom's living rooms,
Engrossed in a game of chess.
When I left to go watch Return of the King,
They whined: "but you're the only girl here!"
There was also the night we watched
The Brave Little Toaster,
Too surreal to be a Disney movie.
We were given nightmares by the
Dream scene where the evil clown/firefighter
Appeared in the burning kitchen.
Poor toaster, missing his college-bound owner.
We wished our lamps were that devoted to us,
Or at least our snotty baby blankets.
Another night I laughed hysterically on my bed
With my friend over the word "cow."
That was it.
Convulsions of laughter over "cow."
"C-c-cow!"
We weren't high.
There were weekends that repeated.
We ate pizza on worn mattresses,
And watched either Foxfire or The Pest,
Then wandered outside,
Daring one another to remove shirts.
One time my best friend (cow-laughing one)
Read poetry to me,
While her stoned boyfriend slept on my butt.
We had protected him earlier
From a loud xylophone.
She threw things at him,
When she realized he was sleeping.
Oh, but I have gone to a real party before.
There was "toga party" during college,
Where I stayed for maybe 15 minutes.
The most enjoyable part was when my
Gay (male) acquaintance dirty-danced me.
The least enjoyable part was when my
Drunk (female) acquaintance
Called my friend more beautiful than me.
My toga kept falling off.
They didn't use enough safety pins on purpose.
Another real party.
My friends and I drove to the country at night,
Dirtying our cars on a mud road,
Just to reach a pitiful cesspool (man-made lake.)
One guy played guitar and sang Ramstein,
While we drank absinthe.
(I only shared two sips with my friend.)
We got into an argument about
The hero archetype,
And we did get naked at some point.
(But no sex.)
At the last party I went to,
My boyfriend and I played Trivial Pursuit
With another couple and their 13-year-old son.
It was funny when my boyfriend
Couldn't pronounce "gynophobe,"
And didn't know the formula for table salt.
These moments drip with fun.
Can you not see the fun in
Psychedelic toaster movies,
Cow jokes, board games,
Nonalcoholic New Years, and sleepy poetry?
Author notes
These are "party" memories from the last 10 years, meant to represent what I do for a good time. (Which in all honesty is mostly just reading.)
A contest entry
- Party Hard for Big Points! by just mercedes.
1450 points, ended November 12, 2007, 3 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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You sound like you always have a good times
. I loved the line about snotty blankets xD that was interesting, and just funny. The way you ended it summed everything up, in a nice short way that gave it simplicity. I laughed through the whole thing 
GREAT job
diggin it majorly
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sixshine
"Poor toaster, missing his boy who went to college.
We wished our lamps were that devoted to us,"
I liked this line; partially because it was a good line and partially because my friend calls her cat lamp.
his collar glows in the dark.
this was great
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this was like a trip down memory lane
my lane was wilder for a while 
your poem reminds me of good ole girlfriend times. just laughing over any old thing and nobody else 'got it'.
this was thoroughly enjoyable and congrats on the gold too
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This is a great poem. What was your inspiration for writing this poem.
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Delightful! Well done!! Congratulations!
Thank you for this entertaining write on "partying" totally delightful. Is it coincidence or does it seem that most of the hard partying is accompanied by pizza? Awesome... maybe it is something in the pizza
Thank you for a deliciously delightful different write
Wishing you much success in all of your endeavors and congratulations on your well earned gold trophy!!
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brother from another mother *or sister*
these sound like nights ive had! the brave little toaster is sooooooooooo cool! i love the grumpy vaccuum! lol, thanks for posting something so relatable, i remember "partys" that turned out to be starwars nerd gatherings, and massive partys that werent actually that fun. this was great
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C-c-cow
::Laughs out Loud for real:: God Skyler was pissed. "You guys need to just stop it, there is nothing funny about the word cow..."
"C-c-cow" and uncontrollable laughter. We should do this again sometime with an even more rediculous word like..........uh..........I know, fish. She'll get all pissed off and flustered all over again.
Call you later!
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thank you for your entry - and yes, I can see the fun in your descriptions, and arguments about the hero archetype, and the cow word, and love Trivial Pursuits myself, and nonalcoholic New Years, thank you for letting me share this.
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