Hello, I'd love to share your emptiness if you'll share mine.
I'll sit with you on those empty seats of which you speak.
I'd make my words dance in our emptiness.
Will yours dance with mine?
I'll even dare to ponder of the fourth companion,
with you, if you care to do too.
And maybe we'll give it back... as you say... to emptiness
Let it be the grand time of which you speak,
but don't let it end with emptiness departing.
Emptiness knows how to be alone, but I do not.
So please don't leave with your emptiness,
and me to mine, for my emptiness is sad and hurt
I'll share your emptiness if you share mine, all through time.
You and I and nothing...
Emptiness.
Author notes
I simply had to enter this contest, first of all because I know the feeling of emptiness and I thought it was my friend, untill the day someone became real friends and I realised that I didn't wan't to be that much alone all the time. At the time being I'm alone most of the time again, but in a different way, for now I have people outside my emptiness to meet when it's not enough.
A contest entry
- Hello, Emptiness, We Meet Again by wbiro.
300 points, ended December 11, 2007, 9 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
-
Hello friend, what a cool poem.
It made me feel all... empty.
If I may give you a little piece of advice.
Cut back on the use of the word emptiness, instead use word with a similar meaning, like void or hollow maybe.
Well, to cut to the heart of the matter, using the same word over and over in one poem, especially in a short poem like this, is not very encouraging for the reader or inspiring for the poet, for that matter. It kind of kills the poem, so to speak.
Apart from this, I will also however compliment your skill. I am very impressed, the atmosphere you are creating is brilliant, one actually feels the loneliness of the poet. Very well done, friend, keep up the good work and good luck in any future contest that you may enter - I look forward to seeing those cute yet at the same time extremely ugly trophies adorn you profile.
Best wishes and gloomy greetings
Zarok -
very nice poem, of questions desiring answers, i hope your emptiness is fulfilled, good luck in this contest..mm
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