I am a lunatic.
My conscience
Is screaming at me to
Stop.
But I
Can’t
Hear you.
You’re the
Apple of my
Eye.
My world?
My
Only one?
I’ll love you to death.
Shame me baby,
I want to feel your hate.
Tell me how
Pathetic I am.
A poor excuse for a life
Endured.
Yeah, you love to hate me.
But I love it more,
Like a sick, twisted wet dream.
Lip biting
Anxiousness.
I can’t feel…
What?
I dunno,
I just can’t feel.
Squeeze me tight,
So I can’t breathe.
Squeeze the life right outta me.
Don’t stop til you hear a crack.
I’ll break your
Pretty, PRETTY, pretty
Face.
Coz you don’t use it like you should.
All your mirrors are
Cracked and broken
To match your shattered soul.
You know exactly what you are
And so do I.
Glazed eyes reflect all,
But keep what’s inside,
Inside.
Is it wrong that I
Wanna be the guy you
Talk dirty with?
Share all your secrets with?
Spend all your time with?
Fuck yes it is!
Because I’m just me.
And the thought doesn’t cross
Your mind twice.
Because you’re too distracted
Because they aren’t me.
And that’s all anyone wants.
Everything that’s not me.
Well, this is it now
We’re walking away from
Our intentions.
I hope we can live with ourselves.
I
Am
Holding on.
Just barely…
But I’m holding on.
I am
Still
Here.
Don’t forget about me.
A contest entry
- One Whole Year by Death of the Author.
600 points, ended November 13, 2007, 49 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Don't go to the light, when you can have more fun in the Dark! by luna-midnight.
875 points, ended November 19, 2007, 32 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - No place to put it..... by Menace.
2250 points, ended December 11, 2007, 32 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Give me Anger and Rage (PW welcome) by TheDemonEve.
900 points, ended April 20, 30 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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Bitter and hate-filled until the end, where the softer emotion drives the anger home. I clenched my teeth through this. Fine writing!
Best of luck and thanks for entering! -
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Im glad it affected you so
thank you very much for reading it. love ya xxx
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*Grinning Devilishly*
Since I have not read your other work I am left to wonder if you write this similar to me or did your homework.
Alright, here's my opinion. I think this would win a trophy in a lot of contest if the format as not quite so spaced out. Also, when you are driving home a point it helps to reflect in parenthesis as such...Shame me baby,
I want to feel your hate.
Tell me how
Pathetic I am.
[A poor excuse for a life endured].... but that just maybe my preference.My favorite part would have to be...
"I’ll break your
Pretty, PRETTY, pretty face.
Coz you don’t use it like you should."That's killer! Good luck in the contest and work on the format some(it's the only thing holding you back from finalist). I'll take another look before judging.
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thank you for the comment and no i havent read any of your stuff before and i have to say that this piece is quite different from my usual work. the only thing is, i dont know a thing about format, or the technical side of writing poetry. i just write whatevers in my head. but also when write something i spend ages on it, trying to find the right wording, sentences and all that stuff. so when ive finished it, i dont feel theres anything left to do to it. and please dont think that im sayin that im just blatently disregarding your advice, its just that when i write something, i write it so i dont have to change it, so its perfect in my mind. so im sorry, but if you think that this is cause enough to disqualify me, ill understand. but again, thank you very much for your comment, i have not had such an informed critique in a while i hope your contest goes well. see ya
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Love it; how could I not? I loved everything about it. Damn, your stuff always flows so good, and this one especially holds So much feeling. "I can’t feel…/What?/I dunno,/I just can’t feel." I you may not be able to, but fuck, I can, and it hurts.
Great write.
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wow, this is kinda sad to me, like you can feel anger in here but at the same time the longing for her to remeber you and want you..idk
but this was very nice, and there were quite a few lines i really liked, thanks for the write
thanks for your entry and good luck
stephanie =] -
Yeah, you love to hate me.
But I love it more,
Like a sick, twisted wet dream.
All your mirrors are
Cracked and broken
To match your shattered soul.
Those were my favourite parts. Quite liked this. Thanks for your entry and good luck x
Take care x
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