I knew you a long time ago
we were friends, we were so close
our houses never quieted down
no, not when you were around
but I had to go and ruin what we had
I had to go and make you mad
you stormed out from my house in tears
momentarily forgetting your fears
you stopped in the street and screamed
before we knew it, fate intervened
a car smashed into pieces lay
beside your body, soon to decay
I sobbed at your funeral-remembering your last words to me
"How could you do this-do you hate me that badly?"
No, I never hated you, my best friend
how I wish you hadn't met your untimely end
I hear your voice, whispering through the trees,
"I love you still...forgive me, please."
A contest entry
- for truly talented poets and those who desire to be better by a gothic romance.
475 points, ended November 8, 2007, 22 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
-
this incident (if true) could really turn into some extremely powerful pieces if expressed well enough.
this piece, however, has some simple rhyming and a lack of poetic tools such as metaphors and simile's alliterations and whatnot.
i think in order to become a more talented poet, you're going to have to go through some stages
first, read a dictionary and a thesaurus.
then break free from rhyme.
brainstorm 1000 different ways to describe something specific. play around with metaphors, and don't be afraid to use them if they can only relate to you and only you will understand (i very often say things and use metaphor that only people who know me really well would understand)
then
play around with structure. look up different forms of poetry and play around with them.
research powerful poets in history, as well as really weird crazy poets with very personalized styles (ee cunnings is a good example of this)
copy their styles and then you'll find you make one up of your own.
try to even forget exactly what you're saying and pay attention to the way it looks on the screen.
you want your poem to express who you are as a person, how you act and think and feel, the way you see things and react to them.
remember, poetry has no boundaries.
thank you for entering
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