You smell of French revolutions.
There’s a whiff of aristocracy there
overthrown by a resurgent bourgeoisie blending,
but unlike the malodor of most change,
this is savory like a storming
of the Bastilles by mobs of insurgents.
In that sense, it is heady stuff
brimming with fresh decapitations,
the smoky ruins of country chateaux
and the bringing of a new age.
The vapor and its vexations
weave their last bit of ventriloquist magic,
and towards it’s disappearing in history,
I am mesmerized by the felling
of Louis the Sixteenth and Marie Antoinette.
That’s when it hits me,
and the base note
of the perfume is revealed
at the memory of
“cette jeune fille folle”, Marie.
.
You smell of cake.
Not bread, mind you, but cake.
Author notes
Some fun with history...
A contest entry
- smells like yellow by Cat.
600 points, ended November 4, 2007, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - ANYTHING YOU WANT!! by Freestyle Bushido.
300 points, ended November 9, 2007, 33 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Be ready for real CRITICISM........ by algoressister.
500 points, ended November 11, 2007, 27 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
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Hi,
LOL.....Nicely worded and nicely twisted.......I have issues with your presentation.....Your partial punctuation is poor, and confusing....You also, end up with run on sentences.....
When I read, I have learned (as everybody does, without being aware of it) to use the punctuation, as a map to meaning....For whatever reason, a lot of poets have started to minimize the punctuation.....Without the punctuation, I end up reading the same line, several times, in the attempt to find the right combination.....After a while, I just give up, and move on, to something that doesn’t make me do all the work..........sooooo....get off your lazy butt, and punctuate......you are doing your good work, a dis service.......It is much harder to be clear, without punctuation. Writing without it, requires much more work, than it would be, to bite the bullet, and punctuate......
You smell of French revolutions.
There’s a whiff of aristocracy there.
Overthrown by a resurgent bourgeoisie.
Blending, but unlike the malodor of most change.
This is savory, like a storming
of the Bastilles, by mobs of insurgents.
It is much easier to follow....has it changed the meaning any?..........This was ultimately a great read....thanks for the submission...TTFN Love Laurel
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curious why you would enter this in the other judge's contest- although it is nice he appreciates at you
m -
i really like this piece- the end line is a perfect ta-dum tap on a drum and cymbal- i think the piece gets a bit weighty and thick with alliteration in places- but this is one of those pieces that is a pleasant surprise and i'm very happy to find it here
m -
Nice poem, not really my thing but I appriciate at you sharing it with me. Thanks for entering.
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