When we meet, it's only our frontiers
that greet and touch, as nations' borders do;
we show a face of strength, denying fears
or any chink that may let feeling through.
The guards, alert to threat, have jaundiced view
which sees what they expect, and they react
with force to trifles, ever more than due;
the more defensive, so the more attacked.
Undo the past, my love, take down the wall
which prisons you in fear and steals your peace.
Let's leave our nations, borders, castles, all
dividing fictions, let the feuding cease.
Defence invites attacks it would resist;
an open hand does not provoke a fist.
Author notes
Shakespearean sonnet
Thanks to wbiro for inspiring my thought. "Frontiers, I tell you, / we are still on frontiers"
In a list
A contest entry
- A contest for Sonnets or villanelles ... by ecrivain01.
450 points, ended November 11, 2007, 12 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Second Chance contest for Sonnets and Villanelles by ecrivain01.
460 points, ended November 12, 2007, 8 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Thanks for reading!
Comments
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I'm so glad you decided to replace this. I obviously missed it when it was written, but I will not misplace it now. It will be in my bookmarks along with so many other of your wonderful pieces.
In a world where individuality is so important, it is often difficult to raise a hand to welcome another to share our repast. Your heart is showing, Margaret.
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Dear Patricia, thank you for your wonderful comment. It is hard to forget our fears, when we find so much evidence to support them. We see what we believe, and find attacks in casual comments. This is my admonishment to myself - my heart of flesh.
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And your heart is precious...
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Wonderful thoughts penned in this. Your imagery is excellent.
Sonnets are truly beautiful and you certainly have done them justice with this one.
Congratulations on the well deserved gold
Gaylene
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Thank you Gaylene, I'm happy you like this. The sonnet form is among my favorites, and I made a pursuit of them for almost two years. Sometimes it is the right shape for the idea.
Merry Christmas to you and yours!
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I have seen this poem on wsvwmo, it's rather good.
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Ohmy, a well deserved gold trophy I have to say I love the idea of the sonnet, and it's absolutely flawlessly crafted...perfect meter, perfect rhyme, perfect everything I adore the couplet, there seems to be some emphasis on it and it's a truth so simple yet so profound...love this one!
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Thank you, I'm pretty pleased with this too! Even though I can state this in a sonnet, I am still learning from my own experience. This is what it means to be human!
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Outstanding
Wish the catastrophic leadership in my U.S. knew this lesson. -
Amazing thoughts ...
and shared in perfect form! There are so many good poems and poets that I find when I venture out beyond my own bordered frontier, and this is no exception! You have captured the essence of 'the mask' and did so without sounding supercilious. I don't think there's a person that doesn't desire love and warmth from others and we must all be sure to become pioneers for this new world. I'm glad that I found you on the road this morning. joy
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Thank you Joy. I am always pleased when I cross your path - I must do so more often! I'm glad that you found a similar experience.
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I really like the structure of this poem and the smooth wording. I learn something new every time I read your work.
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Love the analogy you have outlined in the first 7 lines. Line 8 doesn't make as much sense to me. Perhaps something more along the line of 'the more anxiously watchful, the more any approach is deemed attack'? Usually the "more defended" a spot, the less likely that will be the chosen point of "more attack". Actually, lines 5, 6, and 7 address that pretty well. Possibly omit line 8?
Next to last line, typo, should be "Defense". Love the last 6 lines! Very nice ending couplet. I enjoyed this!
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Thank you for your kind and helpful comment Mirthryl. You understood line 8 perfectly! Defence is in my English dictionary, we prefer it in Canada - not to be defensive! You are very kind, I'm happy you enjoyed this sonnet!
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I love the concept,and I was especially touched by the last line. Wonderful write Margaret.
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Thank you very much, InkstarRN.
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Borders Margaret. I have written on that too. Borders, frontiers, Line of Control...nations, cities, states, minds act on these lines. As a history student, again and again I continue to read and try to find where humans got this concept of 'mine' and 'yours', especially he doesn't even own like the forests and seas.
As for the Sonnet, brilliant. I often don't read too many sonnets. Except for the love I have for Shakespeare and Petrarchan Sonnets. I always love your writing. On a winking spree. Love, Sam.
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Good old Winker, Sam
I meet you in the tiniest of nooks at Winklings!
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Thank you Sam, I'm glad you enjoyed it.
Interesting question about "ours" and "theirs", but more basically where did we get the idea that we are different from them? Even when we are talking about individuals, we have borders and guards to keep things separate. Yet the state we desire is unity - see how we have messed up.
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I have a lot to learn
But I am determined to do so. -
nice job with the sonnet. congratulations.
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The final couplet ...
is far better now. I'm impressed. This couplet is light years better than the other one. -
This perfect sonnet is a keeper! I did not have time to comment the first time I visited it, but having seen both final couplets, it is so much better it brings it all together and ties it with a bow! There! As it should be!
A stellar sonnet!
Terry
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Thanks very much Terry!
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Oh, dear. If we are all men, then I am afraid something's gone terribly amiss in my construction... ^_~
Joking aside, I really liked the premise of this poem, and the metaphor of people being as wary as warring countries was very apt. -
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Aha! Thank you for your comment, now I see the couplet has anachronistic language and it needs help to come into the 21st century. Sometimes the muse is good for only 12 lines and I have to work on the other two. Thanks, I'm glad you like the metaphor!
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chinks in our armor let us see that we are indeed. Frontiers is an interesting theme for a peace poem.
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Thanks Marcy. Another comment suggested an improvement in the couplet.
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Excellent write ...
and I don't really see how you could improve on it, other than the final line which is not as strong as I'd have liked. My reservations come with the fact that the final couplet is the most important part of a sonnet, at least a Shakespearean sonnet. However, I know how difficult it is to come up with a really strong couplet so I can empathize.
Anyway, other than that, this is a real tour de force. Good job.
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Excellent Riviting
Excellent writing exquisite form this is one of those pieces that becomes timeless as through past ages we see man still abdicates peace and history repeats... beautiful write... Brava!!! Two thumbs up!!!
Wishing you much success in all of your endeavors
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it's beautiful! I really enjoyed it, 'specially the last two lines! Thanks for entering
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Great poem Margaret; you really are a good poet. This one is a sort of instant classic. I love the poem as it applies to people, yet believe that nationalism is the only way to keep democracy in the world instead of global dictatorship or oligharchy. Its a sort of retro historical correction that will help.
Yet I can't offer enough superlatives as your poem deserves...it's really, really fine.
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a glanced and I saw 'sonnet'... OK, better get critical then! Let's see, weak words are 'only', and of course, 'chink'! lol they do not match your 'tone' here... great philosophy, all we need is a common enemy (or cause?) for it to come into fruition... makes me want to write some sci-fi...!
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Weak words are plentiful, lol, articles, conjunctions, pronouns, adjectives and the existential verb. I'll agree about 'only', but 'chink' describes itself.
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Hmm ... I see from your excellent poem, Margaret, that the competition will be fierce in this contest. The poem is consistent right up to the penultimate line, when I thought describing each person as a "world" to mismatch with the theme of nations with "Frontiers". Still a great write which I heartily applaud.
A60sMan
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Hi, this brought tears to my eyes as it is so true, why cannot man accept we are not all the same and that because a country has another culture it does not mean it is bad, sad world we live in, I will not be holding my breath that man will change ,I gave up that hope some time ago, lovely sonnet my friend, all the best in the contest, this will be hard to beat, hugs Di
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An excellent sonnet...well done and thank you for sharing La x
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The body Politic becomes personal!
This is a great sonnet because it is so accessible; poetic; and analytically strong. I do not give such praise lightly. "great", for me, is a big word.
The first quatrain, for newcomer-readers to sonnets, bases personal contact and its difficulties on the way we present exteriors as borders to defend our real personalities from view. National borders are an excellent analogy of external contiguity.
As Shakespeare often did, theme and image are further explored in quatrain two. Our body language of defensiveness, false smiles, false aloofness. We feel safe in our comfort zones because we "react
with force to trifles, ever more than due;
the more defended, so the more attacked." This human frailty ensures a lot of people are lonely just as over-defensive nations become isolated, not showing their true hearts.
This is the end of the octet, not so entrenched as in the Italian sonnet.
There is a volta at line nine, however. A change of tone suggesting we build to communicate by letting down defences.
"Undo the past, my love, take down the wall
which prisons you in fear and steals your peace.
Let's leave our nations, borders, castles, all
dividing fictions, let the feuding cease."
Again, the metaphor, through analogy with nation-states is explored for the third time in the third quatrain. "Let the feuding cease".
The final couplet explodes over the three quatrains. When we are open and honest about ourselves, the way we feel, our loves and commitments, then "we" become a world! This is a beautiful piece of hyperbolic conceit built upon the fine imagery. And, at the final phrase, personal love poem and the analogy of nation states in uneasy peace are drawn together: "...when
we really meet, we learn we all are men."
This great sonnet will always be remembered by me as the best by Shakespeare are. There is no pretense; no striving for effect; no poeticisms of the past or insolvable mysteries. It stands uniquely as a fine Shakespearean sonnet of this century (in terms of this century as it would have been true of the Bard's) apart from the modern diction.
I salute you, Margaret.
Ron. (aka Lyndon).
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