Crepuscular eyes divine, like a pool of black swans ashamed in the days last serenade.
My soddening steps, untraceable with no echo; the sun reduced to shade, quietly slips away... afraid to cast a shadow.
I curl away from hands reaching, not wanting to see that which frosts the breath I breathe. Feeling empty is still feeling... or so I learned before hemlock-dipped quills inscribed my heart.
The moon rises with pale obscurity, a cold sweat breaks on my brow. Humidity fills my lungs to the point where I fear I might drown, breathing in... deeper and deeper now.
Coughing out dust & cobwebbed stale air, my eyes water in sweat-doused tears.
With ashen vision, the past haunts as flashing images. In present tense, I find no remorse from all the deaths, I’ve survived.
Some erase.
things can't
I
So I hide myself away in the dark, as Vanth bathes with me in my heart. Her presence I’ve felt before... that musk of burnt flowers, that look of a dead whore...
The scent in the air...thickening, constricting...masking the moon with her sulfuric smile... yet, sickeningly, I miss her and hate myself every time I inhale.
Life is a trudge when all lies unfurl, the day you realize that Death is a gleam in ones eye.
(A clouded pearl)
A demon in velvet, she’s a girl I know
And we met long ago... in a tour of the underworld.
By: Jaye Eryk
Copyright (c) 2007
Non-monosyllabic comments welcomed
Comments
1 - 13 of 13
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beautiful!!
i am so suprised of such write...it so sweet and full of amazing thoughts.a demon huh...clever! in a tour of the underworld...leaves a question in my mind...very nice and i really enjoyed reading!excellent and SUPER!
the title is what GOTme!
juliet
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Hello there, Jaye!
I’m glad I came along and clicked on your poem. It is full of crowded images, full of the undertow of emotions and it captures a dark atmosphere.
Thanks for sharing this poem with us.
Have an awesome day,
BJ.
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the language used in this is magnificent i thank you for you entry i love your last couple of lines "A demon in velvet, she’s a girl I know
And we met long ago... in a tour of the underworld. " -
To inhale the scent of Love mixed with Hate. Never was there anything so repulsive or harder on the Heart, or the lungs for that matter. This is a vivid piece, it left me absolutely reeling.
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Fricken awesome (again)
Holy God, another awesome poem (not that that's a surprise--I'm just a tad jealous. XD)
First of all, the title. Gosh, anything with the word "demon" immediately captures my attention. =)
And then your vocabulary, which is impressively intelligent (actually, a little too intelligent for my 14-year-old brain, haha). Crespuscular--you have my head scratching...but it sounds very poetic. =)
Anyways, my favorite lines:
"afraid to cast a shadow."-so dark, so simple but eloquent at the same time...not to mention unique. I can't tell you how much I love the idea of the sun being "afraid" of anything. I love the personification you employ for all these non-human things...=)
Vanth...this a name of a girl, or more wildly, some goddess's name (hey, it sounds goddess-unique-y, you know?)
I love the capitalization of death--it makes it that much more imposing and well, Death-like.
"underworld"-Ah, so science-fiction-y (though I don't think that was your intention), but your word choices are so cool!
Oh yeah, and the formatting for "Some things I can't erase"--I really like the dedication you put towards formatting your poems to suit the tone of it. =)
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Truly Talented!
I read in-between the lines, upon a pitch page of agony and memories of pain of darkness divine.. a sharp two edged sword.. Love, one of a kind...how the heart burns up in flames in rewind.. But we die and learn, each longing anew.. How I thank you for sharing you. Much pang each time we breathe.
-T aka poeticweaver
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lines 18 and 19 are my favorite... a strong piece as a whole, a very dark and powerful piece... very intense imagery and emotion to this, but those two lines speak to me the most!
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It's human like that, some things you can't erase from the mind, from the feelings...and death awaits us all..but before it's that far I do hope to have met many wonderful poets like you
Your writes always draw me in, into this dark place, I think it's a place I sometimes need to see that there are truths too, well or appreciate the friends who except me for who I am..I don't know...
But you did it again...
XXJeannette
btw. I do hope your cough is better now?? Mine is
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impressive poem you've got here. Very deep and dark, has strong epic type feel to it thank you for entering.
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excellent writing...
Lane
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You've given quite a description of the Etruscan Goddess of the Underworld...arriving at the scene to be a voyeur, only your death seems to linger, her presence often felt...a common understanding as you both live in parallels. Almost giving me the impression of...is she saving you from death, or just prolonging your misery...
One of my favorites, great writing. And by the way, love the word crepuscular...where do you find them, as this is the perfect description...
Great writing...as always.
~B.
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Wow, I'm impressed. Pyper Rain breaking out the Etruscan Mythology knowledge. You know I won't give the answer to that, but it's impressive none-the-less.
The question isn't where do I find them; rather, when will I use one that you don't know, lol.
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Oh wow oh wow, I love it! I really really love it! it all flows so well and in a way it's so easy to relate to as well.. amazing write honey, really beautiful! xxxxx
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