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Life...

Missing image

What can I say that hasn't already been said

I'm getting into the golden years;

thought I had accomplished all I wanted,

but, no,

I still feel like my life has passed right by me.

 

Once young, strong, gallant, even handsome

-some say

Today even though memories linger.

I wish for more, but how?

I have no more time, to seek, to find.

 

Looking at girls today;

what has this world come to I say? 

teenie boppers, wearing make-up

showing what, they still do not have...

I had to wait 'til I married, to see what was up! 

Ah, how wonderful indeed, was that day,

when I talked to her, for the very first time;

we  sat at the bench,

-this very same one 

we watched a good movie, then had some ice cream.

Had such good times, for only a dime.

 

She's gone, an angel, I know.

Many years now have passed by,

loneliness takes over , I miss her

that sweet love of mine. 

...I miss her.

 

I have walked the walk, I talked the talk;

lived my life, like any other bloke.

I'm over 80, I sit at our bench,

can go home now, rest some,

wait for tomorrow, if tomorrow will come.

 

Ah, my bench, so many years, so many dreams;

laughter and tears,

some loses, some fears.

If only you could talk, bench,

how many stories, would we hear? 

 

 

 

 

Author notes

What does an old man think, sitting in a memorial park?

Please tell me what you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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Comments

1 - 5 of 5

  • jo-el
    November 3, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    this invokes the emotion well. but i have to agree with lyndon. in that one section it does sound more like somethin an older woman would be concerned about. besides that though the rest of the piece really speaks clear and loud regarding the feelings that i'm sure any person would be feelin as they approached the final stages. thanks for sharin. nice


    • AngelicMistress gold member
      November 3, 2007

      Edit | Reply
      Jo-el:

      I understand what you and Lyndon refer to, however, any old bloke could look at a young lady and "see" -observe- that this world of today is NOT what it used to be..... Hence the comment on:
      "Looking at girls today;

      what has this world come to I say?

      teenie boppers wearing make-up

      showing what they still do not have...

      I had to wait 'til I married to see what was up!"

      Of course he had to get married to see what was up.....
      -what was up the skirt is what I intended to send through my piece to the reader... Women back eighty years ago did not go as far as women of today.

      ...And if they did, and got found out, all hell would break lose!

      I loved the critique to this piece of mine, truly must say I could actually "see" the reasoning in your comment and that of Lyndon.

      For commenting and for this awesome review, I thank you my friend...

      Blessed be with love and light always.....

      Your friend forever,

      AngelicMistress...Tanya


  • Puppydog gold member
    November 3, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    THIS TUGS AT YOUR HEART!!!

    Oh, for those sweet and loving memories to get us through yet another day. I only pray that I will have some sweet memories of my own by then.'s


  • Ronald Wiseman gold member
    November 3, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Mate, most of this washes

    but I think that you are young. I do not think an old man would be much worried by teenie boppers. I myself, admire a good-looking woman in her 50's or 60's. As for the young, I would be and do think of the sexes as one in that they all experience too much too soon. They have no time to be children. But here we are discussing how I differ from the thoughts of your persona, taken from my topics.
    Yes, I think that you have a flow of consciousness going for you. I would punctuate the whole thing or not at all.
    Personally, if punctuation is good enough for Billy Collins it is good enough for me!
    "If only you could talk, bench,
    how many stories would we hear?"
    Note how commas help a wee bit here.
    Thank you Young(?) man for this entry. You should become a Winkling as I have not recognized a style such as this before.


  • Andantino gold member
    November 3, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    A park bench

    would make our toenails, ears and eyelashes curl! Well, you have the persona of an old man. Is it convincing? That is the question.
    This is a Freudian slip, whether you intended it or not! "I had to wait 'til I married to see what was up!"

    Full marks for this flow of consciousness verse and the character portrayed.

    Dr Derry.

    PS I think I'll stay in the present, as I age! You see, if one is eighty, someone who is sixty-five years looks young and attractive. It has something to do with the + or - 15 years gap!

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