YOU STAND FRONT AND CENTER
TELLING ME YOULL STOP THE TEARS
IM STUCK TO YOU LIKE A SPLINTER
MAYBE OUR LOVE WILL LAST FOR MANY YEARS
NOW THAT I KNOW YOUR LOVE FOR ME IS A LIE
MY FACE SHALL NOT BE SEEN AGIAN
SO ILL JUST STAY HOME AND DIE
THANKS FOR TRYIN TO BE MORE THAN A FRIEND
SO I FOUND SOME STRANGE PILLS
TO TAKE AWAY THE PAIN
THIER CALLED TOXIC ILLS
THEY SHUT DOWN MY BRAIN
THEN I REALIZED THAT DEATH ISNT THE KEY I SAID
SO I CALLED,YOU SAID NO YOU WOULD NOT BE HERE BY MY SIDE
AND YOU WOULDNT HOLD ME AND WEEP WHEN I LAY DEAD
AND THAT YOULL JUST LET ME FULFILL MY DREAMS OF SUICIDE
A contest entry
- November New Member Contest by AP Greeters.
600 points, ended December 7, 2007, 83 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Emotions!! Everything goes! Almost ;) by MusicMattnessLives.
400 points, ended October 21, 32 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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Ouch! This one really hit home. It's really good. I can feel your pain. I also love how you arranged the stanzas. You had a good flow as well. Great write and good luck.
Matt -
Welcome to Allpoetry and thank you for entering
Firstly, this is a sad piece. But there are things that could be done to improve it. Don't write in just capitals, it's rather distracting. There are a couple of spelling errors. I also feel like you tried to force the words a little. Just write what comes naturally.
Keep writing and good luck
Faerie
Site Greeter -
Thanks for entering and welcome to allpoetry
Often times we find the ones who profess their love for us and promise to be by our side when crisis hits they are not willing to live up to their promises and are no where to be found.
I encourage you to keep writing to read and comment.
God Bless
Tammy
Site Greeter
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eeep
umm very very good but very very MORBID!!! -
This is very poignant. Suicidal thoughts are sadly a reality for too many. This depicts that struggle pretty well... Good luck in the contest.
~Diana -
Thanks for entering
The harshness of this decision is apparent. The hard part is the change of mind and not having any support.
Nicely written.
Good luck - let the ink flow and your fingers dance
Rosemary -
Thanks for your entry :]
G'day colton20hughes
♥
This is a very strong emotional write.
Sadly I can understand about suicide and know how it feels to be shut off by your friends.
But remember, tomorrow is another day and you just never know what good might come out of it
Best of luck to you in the contest
Welcome to AllPoetry
Stay safe
~Amanda
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There are strong emotions in this.The positive choice at the end of this made for an excellent piece. Well done and thanks so mich for entering
Gaylene
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I really love the transparent and realistic way you express something so critical........Well done overall.
Should you need anything or want to just 'chat', let one of us know. We are eager to help.
Welcome to the site! Warmly, CookieZeal
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My dear friend, I am your friend that says NO PERSON IS IMPORTANT ENOUGH TO SWAY YOU INTO THINKING LIFE IS NOT WORTH LIVING. YOU ARE WORTH IT. SOME AREN'T WORTH A THOUGHT. YOU THINK THEY ARE, BUT OTHERS MAY TELL YOU THE SAME THING. SO REMOVE YOUR THOUGHTS FROM THAT PERSON..AND TURN YOUR MIND TO OTHER THINGS..YOU HAVE WORTH, AND IT WILL SURPRISE YOU WHAT IS AHEAD FOR YOU, IF YOU WILL DETACH YOURSELF ENTIRELY FROM THE PAST FRIEND....
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