And between
You and me
I never liked the view.
The sun was
just too
bright,
leaving
tiny yellow dots
in my vision.
Always
distracting
my thougts.
It was the
same old routine.
you would yell
until your face
turned
blue
while I ate my cereal.
Breakfast is the
most important
meal of the day.
You smashed the
milk glass
to the floor
and the pieces rolled
across.
I’m not
picking that
up by the way.
I guess this
town was really
not big enough
for the two
of
us.
It's
kind of
funny how
you can say a
lie
one hundred
times
but it still
never comes true.
I don’t care
I don’t care
I don’t care
You would
look at me
with disappointment
and it burns
even from this
far away.
I don’t care
And I didn’t.
Because between
you and me
I never
liked the view.
Honestly.
Author notes
Ok this is my first poem so don't go easy on me. I want the cold hard truth. I can handle it.
A contest entry
- smells like yellow by Cat.
600 points, ended November 4, 2007, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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Congratulations on posting this first poem - such an exciting feeling to let others know you are a poet - enjoyed this write, the brevity of the lines, the flow and the visuals this brings to mind when reading the verses.
-
- the truth
for a first poem this is a very good way to start-
for an experienced poet it leaves a lot to be desired.. but jesus- i wish i had written this well for a first poem-
now- go out and read
margaret atwood, jane hirshfield, sylvia plath - get their books.. and start reading poetry.. find the key to your poetry.. your voice has started-
good beginnings
m -
"I guess this
town was really
not big enough
for the two
of
us"
You need a period after 'us'.
"Breakfast is the
most important
meal of the day
you know."
I'm not sure how I feel about the 'you know' part. It's a question, with a period. I would probably get rid of 'you know'.
I really like this. Honestly. It's something real and it has that stream-of-thought feel that makes it fun to read.
and it's true. You can say a lie a thousand times but that doesn't make it true.
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