From golden pen are written words you see,
a poet’s heart shines through that pen,
unlocking doors they found with golden key.
If you’re illiterate they will teach thee,
learn to read, experience Zen,
from golden pen are written words you see.
In this mixed up world with all its debris,
they find you hiding in your den,
unlocking doors they found with golden key.
Not hideous like a screaming banshee,
their words sweetly sung by a wren,
from golden pen are written words you see.
Whether you laugh or cry, you’ll feel carefree,
reading them time and time again.
Unlocking doors they found with golden key.
Wondrous their beauty, I’m sure you’ll agree,
picturesque like a mountain glen.
From golden pen are written words you see,
unlocking doors they found with golden key.
Author notes
Form: Villanelle
Stanzas: five tercets and one concluding quatrain
Double Moving Refrains: A capital letter in any rhyme scheme represents a repeat of the first corresponding line. A number next to a capital letter means that there is more than one refrain line. Thus; in this poem every A1 is the same line and every A2 is the same line. Also, since they are both an "A" they also rhyme with each other as well as every other "a" in the poem.
Rhyme Scheme: A1bA2, abA1, abA2, abA1, abA2, abA1A2
Meter: (there is no specific meter for a villanelle. Multiple meters are allowable, (so I am using it on this form.) all refrain lines should be done in pentameter and all "b" lines should be in tetrameter for a count of 10 8 10, 10 8 10, 10 8 10, 10 8 10, 10 8 10, 10 8 10 10
A contest entry
- Amera’s Anniversary Contest by Amera.
25000 points, ended December 4, 2007, 17 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
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This is gorgeous! Visual through a poets heart. Unlocking doors is magnificant.
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A poet can unlock any door when they have a golden key. It is a master key to the heart of the readers. I'm glad you liked this. Thank you for the applause and your words so kind. They are greatly appreciated.
seamaiden ♥
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You are capturing the heart of a poet dreams. To find keys to unlock the doors of our mysterious world! I think you have done that well, in this difficult form. Well done...
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I believe it is the dream of every poet to unlock those doors and share their passion and beauty with all who read. Thank you for the words so kind. They are greatly appreciated and I'm glad you liked this. seamaiden ♥
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An exquisite Villanelle you've written here poet. This is not an easy form to compose. I know Amera will love the thoughts and feelings from the heart that went into this poetic composition. Your refrain line is true of her writings. I wish you the best in this tribute challenge.
Much Love & Respect ♥
Renee
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This was a tough form to write and I'm glad that you like this one I did for our host. She did like it and the refrain is very true of her words. Thank you for your words so kind. They are greatly appreciated.
seamaiden ♥
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Very interesting, indeed. You used quite a few different forms here. Best of luck in the contest!!!
Write on.
~*~SP~*~
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This was purely a villanelle and it was speaking of the poet, how they can unlock so many doors through the written word. Thank you for the good luck wish. I'm glad you liked it. Thank you for the applause and your kind words. They are greatly appreciated. seamaiden ♥
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The beautiful thing about Amera is how she has opened up so many doors for so many people. I've learned a lot of forms through her, though I've only posted a few.
This seems like it would incredibly difficult to write, and I commend you! This is a lovely poem with an incredible outlook. It is a beautiful way of expressing the impact a writer, especially a poet, has.
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The very first poem I read was one of Amera's when I joined just recently. I found it in the spotlight and her talent for writing spoke to me immediately. She is an amazing writer of form poetry and so helpful. Her words to me for this one were such a big help and made me look deeper into what I wrote. She has a gift and she not only shares the beauty, she helps to teach it to others. Thank you for the applause and your words so kind. They are greatly appreciated. seamaiden ♥
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Amazing
Wonderful Villanelle and your word choice is brilliant. WOW!!! The talent that is showing through on Amera's contest. I've only written one Villanelle [just recently]...next to a Sonnet it was as painful as a root canal
Great write that places you in the best of the best here on AP.
I wish you the very best of luck!
take care,
David
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The first piece I read when I joined this site at the end of September was one from Amera that I found in the spotlight. She fast became a favorite and her talent goes without saying. The heart of a poet lives inside her. To hear the words she gave me was unbelievable and now yours have lifted my spirits so high. Thank you for the applause and such kind words. They are greatly appreciated. seamaiden ♥
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Amazing structure!!
Beautifully orchestrated a difficult concept seeming effortless as your work displays certainly an inspiration for one such as myself who has such a difficult time with structure
Wishing you much success in all of your endeavors
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To keep the villanelle flowing is the hard part, the fact that there are only two rhyme shcemes is somewhat of a help to that with a double refrain. My choosing to use multiple meter added to the challenge at hand. I'm glad that you liked it. I thank you for the applause and your kind words. They are greatly appreciated. seamaiden ♥
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well, there are a lot of plusses here that I can confirm, she is by far the loveliest woman. and you command perform this by invite.
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Our hostess is a very talented writer and her honesty and willingness to help others become the best that they can are a prime example of the type of person she is too. When I joined this site I found one of her poems in the spotlight and read it. I haven't stopped since and added her to my favorites. Thank you for the applause and kind words. They are greatly appreciated. seamaiden ♥
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This is the first poem that I haven’t DQed. I love the Villanelle and this one is well done in form with a great image and theme. I really admire the strict syllable count you chose to use. In my opinion, someone is going to beat you. The flow needs improvement and it can be done with time and editing. Leave it this way as I’m sure you are proud of it; I would be.
My point is that you use filler words to achieve the syllable count. With thought you can use image words. I took the liberty of editing your first stanza just to show you what I like.
With golden pen are written words you see,
a poet’s heart shines through that pen.
Unlocking doors they found with golden key.
L1 - I removed the word “the and that”
L2 - I used the word “that” here because it refers to L1
L3 – I removed the word “all” doors is already pleural and I gave the key additional image
Please don’t be offended, this is my opinion and I hope to show you what I’m looking for.
I will re-read all the poems left in the contest come judging.
Love,
Amera
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I want to thank you for the honest critiquing you gave me on this piece. I am not offended at all, I want this to be the best it can be. I have made a number of changes to the piece and I would like it if you could look at it again to let me know what you think. You can let me know through here or IM it is up to you. You are a wonderful poet and I value your opinion. Thank you for the applause and such kind words. They are greatly appreciated. seamaiden ♥
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You have expressed a poets honorable aspirations well. I hope as I grow within this craft, I become as skilled with all these different formats. You have risen to the challenge of the Villanelle. The rhyme scheme seems so complicated to me, as a novice, and I admire your skillful creation...
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I do feel that poets can inspire so many as much as they can be inspired by all around them. I want to thank you for the applause and kind words. I also want to say thank you for coming by my work and I will return the favor. The rhyme scheme is actually less complicated than it sounds. It is just the aba until the end and the use of the refrain lines which help you so that you won't have to come up with all those "a's". lol Your words are greatly appreciated. seamaiden ♥
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This is really a pretty piece.I am sure she will appericate it,Thank you for sharing this with me.Goodluck to you in the contest.Best wishes
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I have not written a villanelle for some time and don't know where I put all the poems I did on paper. When I saw this contest pop up in my notes I thought of this form immediately. I'm glad you like it.
The hostess is very well versed in form poetry and I do hope I met the challenge. Thank you for the applause and your kind words. They are always greatly appreciated. This was a tough one. seamaiden ♥
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