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Sleeping

I feel like Im sleeping but Im awake
I feel as if Im drowning but Im Standing on solid ground
I dont think I can take it any more
I have to wake up
I cant because Im not sleeping
I cant take the hurt
It has to stop
If it doesnt I feel like I will die

Please tell me what you think

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Comments


  • melphleg gold member
    November 20, 2007

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    not what I expected

    I thought it would be about insomnia which I sometimes fight. Instead, it seemed to be about some awful dread that is nightmarish keeping the person awake wanting to wake from the bad dream but realizing it is not a dream but reality.
    Not sure the solid ground fits with the feel of the whole piece. Perhaps sinking ground would be a better metaphor. Can and take are two words. You're missing a space.

  • Momma To Be
    November 2, 2007

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    Sounds like a bad dream only in reality this time. I like it it is very interesting. The flow is good. And I love the meaning. Its nice great job. Keep up the good work