I will spread my wings and learn to fly,
becuase I know without you I will die.
Consider the life that you could have with me,
and let me know all that you can see.
I will tell you that I love you,
and hope for you to say it to.
But since I am gone and may never return,
I know you forgotten me and you never yearn.
So the best of us will never be wrong,
I will be coming home before too long.
Now that I am here and I see you here,
You're just as beautiful as ever and that I swear.
I know that you forgot about me but that's alright,
I will receive your love once again with my hardest fight.
A contest entry
- for truly talented poets and those who desire to be better by a gothic romance.
475 points, ended November 8, 2007, 22 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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wow. as soon as i read the first two lines i knew this would be a terrible poem. it's probably not as terrible as i might make it sound, but i think i have some high standards when it comes to poetry.
these lines are all so cliche and over-used. they've been everywhere, written by high school kids and hallmark cards and pop songs since the beginning of time.
if you want to write a terrific poem, you've got to make it stand out, be unique and clever, as well as portray deep poetic emotion that only you could ever feel.
this needs a lot of work. i'll list some things that may help you grow as a poet
first:
-get a dictionary, and a thesaurus.
-spend a lot of time brainstorming metaphors and ideas and all the ways you can describe something very specific.
-break away from traditional rhymes and structure
-look up great poets with different styles and try to mimic their styles as practice (if you do this enough times with enough different styles you'll find you'll make an incredibly individualistic style of your own)
-spend some time in a place of great natural beauty
-spend some time alone
-try writing about things you wouldn't normally write about, for instance: the way the petals fall off of a flower, the shadow of the moon, the colour blue, etc etc etc
-try writing a poem without paying aNy attention to the words just to make a picture with the words themselves.
-try using punctuation and symbols (*}[/<#etc)
i think that's enough to help you for now.
if you genuinely try to take this advice, you could become a remarkable poet.
i used to write like this too, i think we all did.
but good poets do little exercises like the ones i have listed here and they become good with time.
the best thing you can do is go out there and research the great poets of history and pay attention to the tools and tricks they used as well as their unique styles.
ee cunnings, for instance, had a really unique style of poetry.
thanks for entering
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yeah so
most metaphoric poems i have read turn out to be absolutely horrible and listen your poems arent that great either.. they seem to be lacking a lot of emotion and imagery.. get it together girl.. your not the best poet ever
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