Let us feed this night
Taste our love,
Blood lust...
Like sweet wine~
The full moon,
Is a candle for
Our romantic interlude~
Whispered voices
drinking kisses...
in the night
we know
That shall be forever~
Even in the darkness,
We are eager,
to dance...
As the shadows of the trees
Wrap and fold around us
Like black satin sheets~
Ah...
Two vampires in love
kisses sickly sweet that leave me gasping
Rhythms, move me into madness~
As the ecstasy
drips off our skin~
Author notes
Written October 16th, 2003
In a list
A contest entry
- ~Vampire Romance~ by blood tourniquet.
350 points, ended June 27, 2006, 13 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 56 of 56
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Wow this is really a great peice I love the flow of it. Great job and keep up the good work. Best of luck in the contest.
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Hey Sis! Good imagery in this one!
I noticed the same thing Stuart did..full moon (singular) are (plural). You might want to change one or the other so they're both the same..otherwise, it was great!
Love Ya!
♥ Maureen
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Gosh... very very good! I just love the last line!! Oeh I'm always so excited to hear what the last line says...this one was really magnificently!
wonderfull piece!
Thank you for entering the contest and very much luck (although I don't think you will need it
)
Blessed Be
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Hi Susan
A nice piece of erotica, masterfully executed (excuse the pun!!!) Very powerful; I could feel seduction and tension in this one; longing and apprehension at the same time
My favourite part being:
"As the shadows of the trees
Wrap and fold around us
Like black satin sheets~" ...beautiful imagery there!
One thing I noticed though:
"The full moon,
Are candles for" ... Full Moon is a singular, so consider "is a candle" rather than "are candles". Or change Full Moon to Full Moons.
Another fantastic piece. Best wishes for the contest
Stu
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wow! it was not my style of poetry, but you penned it to show emotions, great flow and form, thank you for sharing and good luck..
Linda -
Yikes! So spellbinding! A really gaspingly dramatic page to make one's eyes pop and and enjoy the fine poem you have written. Super write, and one that I think should do very well in the contest!
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Oooh! Such passion when darkness embraces! Wow! Stunning write!
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awwww... this was romantic and dark all in one, that's a plus in my book..lol... I like your vamp writes alot so I have to continue....
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Sexy. As usual I love it. This poem brings about a sexy but dark feel. Awesome! hugs, Juanita
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sucktacular
sweet i love it OMG i think i'm gonna have 2 toast a chalice of blood 2 ya my pet -
Oh, wow, this is a very dark dance. I love the lure of the Vampire. Such a tragic figure in literature, detesting the huger for blood, but unable to control the pangs. Excellent write.
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ooooooo mesmerizing...very erie and erotic. I wish I could say more for this piece, it deserves it, but I am in awe and struck by its intergrity that I am at a loss for words....very powerful write!
~~Jenn -
Gruesomely Great!
Double scary for me!! Cuz I hate blood (in that way)
I connect more with a psy vamp.
But this was written well - It was gruesome and gave me that
"yuck" face.
~Love -
Oh, this is great! I love vampire stories and poems. The pic is awesome, too. Nice work!
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Savagely sensual, Sis! I loved the last three stanzas the best!
Love You, Too!
<3 Maureen
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excellent
The picture scared the pants off of me LOL and goes well with your poem. Vividly descriptive,chilling and seductive... just the way a vampire poem should be. Good luck in the contest 
~Kathy -
Icky. But you are the best at this. Should we ever meet Blushy - would it be alright if we shook hands?
Sag
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I can't really decide if I like the picture with this poem or not,
but I guess that's irrelevant anyway, since I liked the poem
Short, but with a lot of images, and scary ones at that!
Jen
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this was a very nice poem the picture added to it jus as much. i wouldnt worry bout what thisiswhoiam
an his punction because when i read it it made me think of someone talkin in a sexual voice with a bit of panting in it. it made it alot more intersting i think. thanx for entering an i enjoyed this alot.
Pluto~N~Venus -
I really enjoyed this Susan. I think that the punctuation and spacing worked beautifully with this poem...inten
sified everything
~Rain -
There's nothing like the feeding of lust, this was great...
I don't read to many Vampire related poems so it struck my eye and I had to read it!!!And I'm glad I did...So many great lines that leave you ready to read on!!!!Excellent write... -
very good
Fantastic poem. Couldn't help but see an odd shaped wine bottle between the two (reads latest victim). The imagery and lustfullnessof your poem is wonderful.
Favorite lines:
As the shadows of the trees
Wrap and fold around us
Like black satin sheets
Very nicely done.
thanks,
John -
I actually did this last night. Its so wonderful to read something I can readily relate to.
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This is truly awesome. I am a great fan of the vampire legend. I especially like eroticism in the line
"Let us feed this night
Taste our love,"
and the imagery of the line
"As the shadows of the trees
Wrap and fold around us
Like black satin sheets"
A really great poem. Keep it up. ~Angel -
oh sis
am left speechless
wordless
nearly
bravo -
Vampirific
awwww this is was schexxxy
vampiric lust expressed in this poem is amazing, awesome, thanks for letting me know about it, i couldn't see it in the promo box so i just 'hope' this was the one you wanted me too see.
whispered voices and kisses,
from your vampire friend in the night,
Vampire -
Great vampire poem , but the pic alone is guaranteed to give me nightmares tonight
And I so much prefer dreaming of sweet love and passion , not the vampirical type. But i guess it is the time of year when we all sort of turn our thoughts to spookier scarier things . I have a couple of vampoire poems up myself , but to be completely honest I can not fathom what it is all about and truthfully it spooks me . I do not even know if there really is such a thing as this bloodlust, but there sure has been enough written about it to make one wonder . I never read a dark poem by you and quite frankly it threw me for a loop . Your talents are limitless , but pleeeeeeaaaaase help me get this erased from my mind 
Reenie
BTW , besides the flu , I am doing good ....scars almost all healed up and will be running the Boston marathon tee-hee, just kidding
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As someone who has a lot of passion for these creatures, I cannot but enjoy this poem... Though it was the background that made it more exquisite to the taste, the picture itself also did wonders...
But like I said, a very enjoyable read...
Gabriel -
WOW! That really fits in to the season!!!
You always put so much passion and feeling into everything you write!!! So amazing, your talent is! ~Laura
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blood tingling
I too snuck in the back door.
This was greeat, I love vampire works and the pic is absolutely stunning.
It makes you wish you were the girl he is biting.
I wish you so much luck with the contest.
I have read all the other entries and this is the best by far.
Wish I was judging!!!!!
~yourbentangel~ -
Thanks so much Desiree
ThisIsWhoIAmthats the way I write
Thanks for the comments -
Oooooo. "As the ecstasy drips off our skin" Nice words.
This is a little different for you but you seem to speak the language of love well for even vamps. lol. I like. Nice images. You're words are always lovely. Nice pic too. My kinda guy!
Came in the back door btw so I didn't chew your pts.
Desiree
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Thanks so much Anika for those sweet words
Thanks for supporting my poetry
Susan~ -
Needs work
First off: Interesting pic.
Second: Your punctuation,capitalizati on and grammar are a little raw, and could stand some polishing.
Let us feed this night <---comma?
Taste our love,
Blood lust... <---why an ellipsis?
Like sweet wine~ <---/why/ a tilde?
The full moon,
Are candles for <--- is a, not are. Candle, not candles.
Our romantic interlude~ <---no, really. Why a tilde?
Whispered voices
drinking kisses... <---nice imagery.
in the night
we know <---the night will be forever? What will?
That shall be forever~
Even in the darkness, <---even suggests that you wouldn't be
We are eager, normally eager in the night.
to dance... <---ellipsis?
As the shadows of the trees
Wrap and fold around us <--- good imagery.
Like black satin sheets~ <---Is it to end each bit? Why?
Ah... <---satisfaction or realization?
Two vampires in love <---Nnnh. Too obvious.
kisses sickly sweet that leave me gasping <---me, or 'us'?
Rhythms, move me into madness~ <---me, or us? Drop the comma.
As the ecstasy
drips off our skin~ <---off needs to be 'off of', or 'from'
All in all, it's a good start, but I don't think it's finished. Keep in mind, of course that all of this is my opinion, but I do think you could go somewhere far more precise and satisfying than this piece, as it is. I look forward to seeing a rewrite, personally.
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Hehehe Lestat... Oh umm hi! lol
This poem is awesome, maybe it is the darkness and sexual flavours to it or that its about vampires, I'm really not sure either way. All I know is that this poem has captivated me and thrown me into my own poll of exstacy, deep within in the interludes of my mind. You are quite a poet aren't you, evolving from the ways you used to write. Well keep on writing like this and you will be signing a booking contract.
~Anika, The Gothic Blood Rose
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Oh my
All these comments since I last checked in
Thanks Gill, Lute,Karen, Daoine,Jani,Peacelink, AC, Danna and Runaway Train
Your comments mean so much
They are deeply appreciated
Luv and hugs to you all
Susan~~~ -
Vampires very popular. Lute come looking for sweet blushfulmoon
song. Wrong. Oopser, as the flame and smoke roll across the page. -
Susan
Oh wow,I think I'm going to get back under the covers
Scarey picture
, but I just love to watch vampire movies
This was a haunting write, with amazing images, like it was written by a vampire, you write these sooooooooo well
Love you,
Karen
p.s. this is a winner to me
-
Torid, steams right off the page.
So achingly passionate, drips with
lust and need. Hotter than hot.
The flow mesmerizes and drowns the
reader in sensation.
LOVE IT.
Daoine -
Sis.. this so good,you have one similar to this I think?? well I know I've seen the piccie before on one of your Vampire writes.. it's a fab pic.. well penned hun..good luck with the contest
~GILL~xxx -
A somewhat disturbing yet passionate image comes to mind with this write Blushfulmoon
.. I really liked the idea of two vampires in love, puts a slightly different view of the vampire.
Good luck with contest!
Jani -
you make the vampires sound so sweet one might well forget all the terrible things attributed to them, the world loves a lover even if it is a vampire, Lovable vampires here. Hope they dont drink each other to death or love each other to shreds.
Your beautiful words and imagery as usual predominatesans takes the reader into those pictures that you have imagined. -
What an alluring write. The lure of the Vampire! There is something strangely romantic about them. Maybe it is the thought of their imortality, but at the price of their souls. Anyway, this was amazing.
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very nice, good luck in the contest
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This one is perfect for this time of year, Susan. I love a good Vampire tale.
Even in the darkness,
We are eager,
to dance...
As the shadows of the trees
Wrap and fold around us
Like black satin sheets~ ...this is some great imagery.
-
Thanks Travis
Your comment mean a lot to me
And thanks for stopping by to read all of you
Susan~~~~ -
very nicely written. I love vampire lore and vampires poems and movies and stories. this is a good one. good luck with the contest!
-
Oh my
I just posted this a bit ago and already all these comments
Thanks Bill, Desire, Tormented Soul and Mina
All your comments mean so much to me
This was a fun write I love Vampires
Thanks again
Susan~~~~
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Wooooooo Hon
thats one scary pic!! Wonderful write
with Halloween just around the corner!
Love these dark one's you write!
You do them so well!
Like this part:
As the shadows of the trees
Wrap and fold around us
Like black satin sheets~
Think this one is the winner!! stop the contest!!
Fabulous presentationBravo! Bravo! Great job Sweety!
Much Love; to You Missy~ ~Mina (( )) xOx ~~
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wow.... um -fans self- really nice and tasteful at the same time. great job. good luck in the contest.
-paige- -
Awesome
Holy guacamole~ This was HOT and HOT! The pic~ Whoa! I looked at that and moved my shirt collar back~ Take me out for a bite to eat~ Feed me~ ~ This was awesome sweetie and you knew I would be drooling~ That is why you sent me a cup huh~ Keep them coming and so look forward to more~ MORE!Hehe~ Big hugs and much love~ Desire
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thy dark words
razored frolics in crimson tears
shadowed in the night
where the moon embraces you...
yes...
I hear the screams!
Leaving one wanting more!
I enjoyed the dark walk!
Keep penning more in your crimson tales!
Bill -
Thanks Renee
I sorta loved it too
Your comments mean a lot to me
Thanks for stopping by
Susan~~~ -
Great!
Vampire lovemaking must be ravishing and full of flesh ripping lust. This makes me think in that way. Very good images of the two of you really going at it in a frenzied frolic. I liked this much, it was simple and full of deep, dark love moods. Great!
Much Love,
Renee
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Thanks so much maryannde some contest just come naturally
Course I do like Vampires I have up a collection of em lol~
Again
Thanks
Susan~~~ -
Hot damn woman...you and I are in the same frame of mind tonight. LOL
Loved this one! Lovely flow...and expresses well the love of the vampires....
Many hugs..
Mary Ann
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