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stubble

 

 

 

 

 

she nibbles remorse
with tiny teeth,
 
marks on skin bite
back as memory twists.
 
Möbius laughs.
 
chin hairs crawl,
push out like bits of boy,
jutting from her past.
 
each one a line
of black
connecting to a life
not yet gone.
 
they form pretty patterns
from ugly schisms and fluff,
 
hand her forever
in stubble.
 
she turns up the dosage
and watches
with patient regard.
 
 
 

 

 

 

 

 

  

In a list

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think (Critical Honesty Appreciated)

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression? • Line numbers
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?) (Line numbers)

Comments

1 - 16 of 16

  • frecklez
    February 16

    Edit | Reply

    :-D

    This was great. You have wonderful tone and imagery. Not many poets can use stubble as a wonderfully personal and important image. Thank you for sharing this.

  • Grunts Girl
    November 4, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    push out like bits of boy

    fantastic wordage
    loved this


  • Naridill gold member
    November 3, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    98%

    Highest score~~! But... you failed to follow the only rule. So I minused some points and it affected your placement. I still loved this piece, the imagery, creativity and emotions so of course, you still placed.

    Thanks for entering and much luck~~!

  • NurseChilly gold member
    November 2, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    that's my sister..... yes it is... and this, is deeper than the well of thought... deeper than the follicular intentions...

    this is change and neo love... yes it is

    you are my sister


  • astralshepherd gold member
    November 2, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    ya know, I just realized how potent my last note was, the comment on this poem and decided I would revise it, tone it down a bit. I know how difficult it is, presentation is not always best with stubble. Your poem is brilliant, just in case anyone hasn’t told you, and so are you.


    blessings and best wishes,


    ~r.


  • Rowan gold member
    November 2, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    must be hard, I hate unwanted hair too.
    very sharp penning, as usual.


  • dehydrated
    November 2, 2007

    Edit | Reply









    [i bet suzie can't bet that]


  • Suzanne Dia gold member
    November 2, 2007

    Edit | Reply


    All these little reminders, yes?





    Just a


1 - 16 of 16