Taken away, swept to sway by a river so serene
To a place forsaken of the world's misconcending scenes
An hour given, taken, made, and spent
showed everything and nothing from an angel heaven sent
A sight for stars on a bright moonlit night
This gift began giving to two lost lights
and recovered the pieces that broke from the sky
to repair a truth concealed as a lie
A glance of chance and they glorified a dance
which made the minds become entranced
as the heart controlled the actions of thoughts
while the soul debated the "do's" and "do nots"
Entwined in vines a rose blossomed a breathe
that took an oath from begining to death
a marriage of soul's in the boundries of earth
where only a man can take in such mirth
Past the days of tommorow's ways
and forgotten are the yearning yesterdays
for time though mistaken, knows how to play
She lets the winds blow, the willow to sway
And in one everlasting movement of life
the sand, simply like a knife
plunged into the sinking grains
to show the place where all stays and remains
and past the days of tommorow's ways
and forgotten are the bold yesterdays
Till the memorized ghost of memories
painted a picture that those seldom see
Angel of Twilights, the piano princess player
Brought upon two simple souls the complexity of a prayer
Never given, for every heart man stole
with this sin of innocence, we complete the human soul
A contest entry
- Bring It All by Simply Simple.
1800 points, ended February 26, 2008, 120 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - 100 entries... by Dancing the Rumba.
600 points, ended December 20, 2007, 50 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Romantic Poems... Guys only by z etoile.
500 points, ended January 11, 2008, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
hm...well, what do think really, an honest opinion of what you think of the poem and what you think it means.
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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good
it trails off in the end. i think the last stanza could be something more power/meaning -ful. incidentally, what does 'misconcending' mean? -
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um...well as for what misconcending means...um...i've heard it used before but if you type it up on google, it goes to a link to my poem, haha, but, if its not actually a word, than it'll be my rightful job to make it a word, so i'l have to work on that
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Angel of Twilights, the piano princess player
Brought upon two simple souls the complexity of a prayer
Never given, for every heart man stole
with this sin of innocence, we complete the human soul
i love these lines! omg you've sooo used beautiful language! hehe, best of luck in the contest! -
hmm This was good.
Liked this stanza
and past the days of tommorow's ways
and forgotten are the bold yesterdays
Till the memorized ghost of memories
painted a picture that those seldom see
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This poem brought out, to me, how pure and honest a part innocence plays in the soul and mind. Great poem!
--Daniel (aka: Flare)
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I can tell you are a great poet! You really put alot of thought into your poems, and you care about what you write. This poem really brought me into your world! Thanks!
Vivien
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Hmmm... Well considering it's late, I'm not really entirely sure what I gathered from this. But I will be back with more comments I'm sure. (PS. Did you read the rules?)
~Okay well before I start rambling about what I think this meant, I want to know what you meant for it to say. I really like it and so far it's my first pick for the prelimiary finalists list. -
Grand theft autumn, and my user name as you can tell is Fedrizzi, so yes commenting on myself for the contest lol
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Whatever it takes. Lol.
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oh, and as for what i meant (even though this was asked over a month ago, It was inspired from a moment i shared with someone i had strong feelings for, the poem depicts the enviroment, us being by a small river/creek and laying under the stars, this poem also has many thoughts that I had during the encounter and after, i also depict her in many ways such as the wind, the water, a sight of stars, the twilight angel piano princess player (since she played the piano) but yea, all i can come up with for it lol
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Well better late than never. And I figured it was something like that. Just wanted to double check. I am frequently wrong. Lol
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I loved this one! Especially "Never given, for every heart man stole.
With this sin of innocence we complete the human soul."
Those lines really touched me. The emotion was a building affect and sunk in very deep. I'm very impressed.
<3 Mari
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