Did you know me when I was the girl I was
Supposed to be?
(she fell down, and won't talk to me)
Pretty young girl, in a bright, shiny Box,
Would wake up early, to help Daddy make pancakes.
Stars in the sky of Indian Summers, she snuck out to play nightgames.
Fresh, wild and free she wore shorts and barefeet.
A day at the beach, unabashed in her bright pink bikini.
Grandma buried her in the sand, head sticking out like a turtle.
So precocious and whimsical, a wunderkind of sorts.
She got stuck in her headstands,
But the performance...endearing.
Did you know me before I lost the girl I was
Supposed to be?
(she fell down, and won't talk to me)
Her first public fit was in Miss Loge's class, just 7 years old.
A bright young gem..now abject and disquieting.
She woke up groggy.
Memory abducted.
Mom tried to explain,
But she laid jejune, in her princess themed bed.
Doctors attached wires underneath her blonde locks.
Sent her home with pills, so pink and pretty.
From then on she was forlorn, ostracized by her peers.
Quite scarring, the staring.
Confidence Killed.
Do you know the real me? The girl I was
Supposed to be?
(she fell down, and won't talk to me)
There are scars on her brain now, from the electric rhythms,
But they're not nearly as hazardous as the scars
On her dreams.
A brilliant young girl with untethered ambition,
She's still alive, effervescing from within.
The most sincere of my stories, So slippery and botched.
An abyss of a memory can be so confusing,
A cryptic jamais vu.
But here, I give you,
My heartfelt effigy of a girl with childhood epilepsy.
Author notes
Yes, I AM the girl.
****Epilepsy is a very cryptic and otherworldly illness, it is an illness of extreme senses, absolute loss of control and self awareness, and can lead to the erasing of memory (especially in childhood).
Haunting and inspiring many great artists and visionaries of the past, Van Gogh, Beethoven, Tchaikovsky, Da Vinci, Michaelangelo, Poe, Tennyson, Lewis Carrol, Dante, Socrates, Capote, Napoleon, Alexander the Great, Aristotle, Pythagoras, Agatha Christie - - Many of their finest works believed to have peaked with their various stages of Epilepsy.
Anyone else care to come forward and join the ranks???
***(she fell down, and won't talk to me)*** - For a long time I left out an explanation of this part, but now I feel compelled to tell. My very first seizure was at home...I was climbing the curtains in the bedroom I shared with my older sister. I fell down and started seizuring...those are the exact words that my nig sis reported to my parents after the incident. "She fell down, and won't talk to me"....not something a parent wants to hear!!!
A contest entry
- Innocence by parasol.
1200 points, ended November 3, 2007, 7 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - WANTED- poets who are inspired by life and not a prompt by McRae by nature.
700 points, ended November 8, 2007, 19 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Open Wounds by Eugene Cash Hensley.
700 points, ended November 26, 2007, 19 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Titles & Topics!!! plus anything goes. by purplemoon.
953 points, ended May 29, 94 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 47 of 47
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I have had epilespy as a child. Although most would still call me so. I can relate to this so very well. I still remember most of my childhood. But parts still slip away. A very Touching write. Bravo.
Thanks For Entering My Contest.
Kathryn -
very good
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This is really sad and a heartfelt poem that I am sure that many can relate to thank you for sharing with us best wishes always be well
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I write and erase and do it again.
How do you critique this? It isn't just good writing. It is your ability to describe and emote what it is like to have Epilepsy from the stand point of someone who does and how it effected you. You need to find and submit this to Epilipsey and Psychology journals. Like Psychology Today, they publish peices pertient to thier publications and this is more than good enough. Some take online submissions. Their is also a Poetry Therapy Journal. Google and see what you find. Good Luck.
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Very touching.Good luck in the contest.
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Bravo
Bravo -
Wow. This deserved all the trophies; it was fantastic. I love the imagery, the experiences shown. Beautiful.
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a fantastic write on your experiance of your childhood
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how inspirational! this is a poem that caught my attention and drew me in. i like it!
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Your story & your writing are very inspirational to me.. You've been through alot & I'm thankful for you that you have an outlet like this & so much talent..
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Obviously we're in the right group, haha; quite the vocabulary.
This was a very odd poem, in that it conveyed its purpose perfectly -- the lack of rhyme was almost jarring at times and yet it pulls the reader along straight through the end.
A truly magical pen you have
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Hi there. My sister and several of my firends and acaientences throughout the year have eplilepsy. And yes, they were all ostracized. This is what you have to take to heart NOW- don't wait: ignore the looks, and jeers, and prejudice- be blind to these things in the same way that they are blind to your real self. It is sad that you are saying 'the girl I used to be' at SEVEN years old! You have an absolutely amazing life ahead of you- I am not kidding. All you have to do is just start living it.
This is a fine poem with deep emotion, and you really make us aware of what it is like to have eplilepsy.
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Oh. This is quite some poem that you have going on here. It is a sad tale to tell though.
It sounds like it was really hard on you and your mental state when you were growing up. I can't imagine what it was like for you but it sounds like you've grown up stronger for it. I think you did a good job of expressing yourself here.
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Very emotional piece
I loved this and it's entirety...well done.
ephiphany
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Wow. I am sorry you had to go through such a thing, but you still sound like a very strong girl to be able to write about it and let out your emotions.I think this is a great poem. This was very powerful indeed.Just know though that God has you in His hand.
...Simply Me♥ -
I'm speechles. In a good way, certainly! When I started to read this, I wasn't sure what would come out of it as it seemed a bit common, but the further I read, the more I was pulled in to the story. I know a few people who have epilepsy, so I know how it can be, and this reminded me of all the stories they've told me. Such emotional piece that brings out toughts to anyone reading it. A powerful story worth more than words, but unfortunately they're all to be given in here.
Thanks for sharing this with us and beautiful work!
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WOW
this is a very thought provoking write. full of pain and honesty about the author's life and experience with Epilepsy. to me, it is a very powerful write. great job. thank you for sharing.
kat
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This was such an emotional piece. You really do a great job at expressing these feelings! I love everything about this poem! Thank you for sharing this poem!!
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Very emotional. I do not suffer from a physical illness of this type, so I could never begin to understand how frustrating it must be. You have my sympathy and respect. This piece was well written and felt.
Carrie -
Wow. That was amazing.
I was not expecting an entry like this, but it fit the prompt to a 't'.
Thank you so much for entering. Welcome to the finalists.
~Restless and True~
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I love this poem. It sent chills down my spine. I am going through seizures in my older years, as I didnt as a child, but I still feel this poem. BEUTIFULLY written. I like the repetitiveness of "Do you know the real me? The girl I was
Supposed to be?
(she fell down, and won't talk to me)"
Wonderful job!
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This is brilliant. I really liked the switch from a general sense of nostalgia to the heartbreak and confusion of childhood epilepsy. I too experienced seizures as a child, so I can relate to this to an extent. Very emotive and beautifully written, well done!
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YAY! Gold Gold Gold
swim in your gold, bathe in your gold, dance in your
gold, bake in your gold, plant your gold....okay,
i'll stop.....I'm just so damn happy!
hey.........you got GOLD!!!
this was truly an inspiring work, thankyou you so much
for the courage and love it took to write it!!!
ears2hearyou
Kathleen -
this is a great piece very informative i can see why it won gold, good job.
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this is a very beautiful poem. imglad you shared with us your childhood story. Gratz on the gold.
*jade aka Crank Dat AP Leader* -
This was very heartfelt dear and I thank you for taking the time to share this with the group. Your soul is filled with such expression.
~Inc."
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Wow. That was absolutely amazing. YOu did a fantastic job with this. My sister has epilepsy, however it is combined with other problems, so she is considered mentally disabled. I remember times when medicine isn't all it is today, there were just a lot of trial and experimental drugs. Some of the ones they put her on made her worse. She has seizures. The first time I saw her have one, I was so scared.
It is good to see you doing so well, at least from what I can tell. You're an excellent poet. Glad to have you here.
Write on.
~*~SP~*~
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Thank you
I'm sorry to hear about your sister. Luckily, I grew out of my epilepsy in middle school and haven't had an episode since (though the doctors are always suspicious of minor temporal lobe seizures occurring....).
The part in parenthesis is actually my sister's reaction to when she saw my first (petit mal) seizure.
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Magnificent
Congratulations on the Gold, it is well deserved. I love the storytelling aspect of this poem, it is a very brave and eloquent way you have expressed your journey, and poignant enough to give others a glimpse into your experience.
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I totally relate to this write. I experience seizures daily and have since I was a child. I grew up not knowing what was wrong with me. It took a grand-mal seizure resulting in a massive head injury to finally be diagnosed with epilepsy. I feel that you stepped out of the box and deeply described it in a way where others can comprehend how difficult it is to suffer from epilepsy. Wonderful imagery and word usage. I would rate this many more than 3 if I could.
YAY!!
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What a tender and heartwrenching story. Bravely told and eloquent in it's message. Sending you ((hugs)) from out here in paradise..
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WOW..this is Incredible!
Absolutely crystal clear...an incredible write that relates how a medical condition that most people have heard of yet fail to adequately understand can affect a persons future so much...this is a write of much worth...I admire your style...regards Dan x
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Absolutely Fabulous WRITE!!!
my gawd, dear Poet, you did FABULOUS with this!
I almost cried twice, and then celebrated the ending
to make us AWARE of a medical condition called Epilepsy,
a simple bruise on the brain that will not HEAL.
So many stanza's stood out...tightly written with
enough air to allow us to openly hear!
Dance around the room! This is a beauty and POWERFUL
POEM!
ears2hearyou
Kathleen : ))
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this is a sad write...i guess we can never really tell when our luck runs out...one day one feels like the king of the world with everything coming into place as we want it..when fortunes easily come and one never expects a serious ailment to pop in because one feels and looks healthy...physically, emotionally, yeah even materially....'know how you must feel, specially the memory bit...before i got sick, i only needed to read something once and it stuck...so school was a breeze.. 'not epileptic..i have something more serious ...but i will not stop whatever im doing...and im going to fight this condition until i stop existing..
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Wow, was blown away by this; great job in expressing yourself! Liked how you built up to the dramatic conclusion at the end of your work!
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Wow. This poem is amazing! So strong, original, and emotional. Wonderful imagery with tons of depth. It’s sad, raw, and quite unique, especially for its topic. Very beautiful poem. I could hear your lost innocence speaking in the poem. Thank you for your entry. Best of luck in my contest.
- Andi
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Think if you now living a new life.
Its very sad but joyful as a result that you are now alive. Yet not forgetting the past memories but now flowing in the new life. Something new you have acquired, a god's gift, as freedom, to write yourself, the past you lived. A very beautiful poem. A very beautiful title you have here with this poem. Thanks for sharing it. With best wishes for the future,
Tushar
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So beautiful and expressive. Thank you very much for sharing this with everyone...it's very raw and real feeling, and I love that in a poem.
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Your poem was beautiful and soul-telling, the best poems of all. I'm glad you can feel free enough to express yourself to everybody here in never-never land, god bless your quest. Your illness does not have to be a disability, it can be just another part of what's special about you. I loved the bracketed line "she fell down and won't talk to me" it's a line that really speaks, B.
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Thanks you so much for your comments and support.
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I am glad you can express yourself here always remember we are who we are because of our experiences you should allow these things to make you grow stronger never weaker draw from your strong points and make them sharp nice write!!
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This is deep, touching and someting I can relate to. Your effection is showed in this piece and I think it is great
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Awe <3
This is so sad, so deep, so touching.
The imagery is so vivid.
This is a lovely write,
everything was expressed so perfectly,
I agree with power in blood
it takes alot of strength to get something like this out.
I wish you the best <3
Also, good luck in the contest. -
This is pure honesty and emotion
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How strange that I should choose this poem to read at this moment... I just hung up with my girlfriend who had to rush her 3 year old son to the ER because he was suffering back to back major seizures and they didnt know why. As my heart aches for her it aches for you and the lost childhood I am sure you suffered at times. thank you for writing this. I am glad I clicked on it.
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whoa...seriously wow. THis is you, so sad - but deep and you have so much strength actually getting out and saying this. there's a beauty and a force to your poetry. keep writing.
'power
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this piece was at some points hard to read strong emotions went through me like lightening bolts, very deep with sadness written by some-one with such strength well done.sorry i have no points left or i would certainly applaud.
take-care
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