Loving you taught me living with silence
The day I met you, I was taken to an outer space.
Attire of emptiness my heart does owe
Utter loneliness grasps my existence to show
You are nowhere near or far.
The last scream comes from my heart as it throbs
Before it stops beating forever.
But even in that last scream of mine
My heart says "bhalobashi"
Love finds its way
No matter you don't want to stay
Warmth of your lingering scent will lay
Deep within me and burn me like the sunray.
"Bhalobashi tomay", it really does pain
Still I'll love you baby and I'm not insane.
Author notes
"Bhalobashi" is a Bangla word that means in English "Love you".
"Bhalobashi tomay" is a Bangla expression of the statement "I love you".
A contest entry
- Stages of Love by Theactoffailing.
700 points, ended November 16, 2007, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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"Bhalobashi tomay", it really does pain
Still I'll love you baby and I'm not insane.
umm.....AMAZING! It was a good idea to use this Bengali phrase
Well done.
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Good, Even in the last scream you say I love you. Fantastic. Keep up your good writing..Thank you for sharing with A.P.
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I love the beginning, it grabs your attention with your great vocabulary, and the sparing rhymes are tasteful and add to the poem. Also, the use of another language fits perfectly with your style. However, the second to last stanza I feel shouldn't be all rhyming. It changed words and made them sound cheap, like sunray. And a couple of lines hardly made sense because you focused too much on finding a rhyming word. I love the rest of the poem though, and thank you for entering.
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