The darkness swallows me up
I'm turning on switches,
but no light comforts me
Tears stream down my cheeks
Scarred skin shows the real me
I can't break free until I let [it] go
Everyday it gets harder and harder
I'm feeling worthless,
Never knowing if I'll make it through to the end of the day
I'm just not built for this,
It's breaking me down-
Causing me so much hurt
I thought I would be ready,
For this new chapter of my life
But already the pages are falling apart
Author notes
I had an emotional breakdown today and so I decided to find a contest I could write a poem for- letting me let my emotions out.
A contest entry
- Evanescence Songs by BrokenAtBest.
400 points, ended October 23, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 18 of 18
-
Thanks for entering. This flows really well and the last line is great.
-
Very true meaning, and your poem was flawless. I could not find anything wrong with it, you made it flow from start to finish. Well done :]]
-
I can't believe I never commented on this poem before!!! Guess I better do that now! I just wrote one comment down and the stupid thing erased it before I could submit it...grrrrr.....Anyway back to the poem.........hhhmmmmmmmmm.........LOVE IT!! Of course I love pretty much everything you write because it's "RAW".....
I really love the last stanza......"the pages are falling apart" wow. Schribe should've given you an A for being able to write like that!!! A+
-
-
well he couldn't give me an A because i never wrote like this in class, i always BS'd it... took the easy way out... but if he would have seen a couple of the poems i got lucky on and turned out pretty good, yeah he would have been proud.
lol
-
-
Good poem. Very relatable. I especially love the last stanza -- really, really great. I think you could extend this, clean it up a bit with more images rather than narrative, and it would be fantastic.
By the way - depression fades, but scars don't. Trust me on this one. Use poetry instead... please.
-
I enjoyed this piece. Definately emotional breakdown piece. I've written plenty of them. But on a note i think it could have been a little longer. But maybe the poem gets right to the point. I like your style and your unique way of getting your point across. Interesting write. I like the titles. Nice work.
-
whoa this has so much meaning behind it, its really well written, its flow is excellent my favourite lines are:
Tears stream down my cheeks
Scarred skin shows the real me
I can't break free until I let [it] go."
im sure alot of people can relate to this poem because i can personally, well done, keep up the great work
-
-
thanks for entering this is a great entry
-
A very emotional piece. I hope you have come out of this much better. Sometimes we need the lows to enjoy the highs of life.
Soulful Woman
-
I like the final stanza - the tone and the flow and feel of that stanza seems somewhat different than the rest of the poem... perhaps it's the element of metaphor utilized within that stanza... it appeals to me a lot more and I personally would like to see that throughout the entire piece...
thanks for the entry! best of luck to you!
-
you will find that comfort comes when you find a place to empty your heart, when you express in positives how you truly feel. Perhaps you are closer to recovery than you really think... keep writing poet... it is therapy for the soul. ~SoAp
-
such disterbing thoughts, may i be your psycyotrist?
-
heartful
I embrace the emotions you have in this poem. It brings back some painful memories, but your words here are soothing and comforting to me. Even though I don't know you, thank you for writing this poem. -
Awesome poem!!! I can really relate!
I love the last part: I thought I would be ready,
For this new chapter of my life
But already the pages are falling apart.
Hang in there, I hope you feel better. Best of luck in the contest!
Love Always,
Caroline
-
this is really sweet.
the essence of pain.
the steady throb of a broken heart.
you really do have what it takes.
i love it.
-
Awesome
I love this poem. It is really good. Hang in there though everything will get better. *hugs*
-
hhm
good job
nice imagery 11 otta 10
Adding your comment:
1 - 18 of 18
