Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read Contests Groups Learn Forums Store Help
 

Me.

Addiction; The uncontrollable compulsion to do something over and over no matter the devastation I brings to you, your family, or your furture.

I know this all too well, and never have I fully came out of it's depths. There is nothing more frightening than the realisation of addiction. It's too much.

I'm addicted to sex, love, hate, drama, coke, weed, alcohol, psychotic behavior, lying, eating, and above all writing. I'll never stop.

I'm a cheater, a liar, a drug addict, and a crook.
I'm a father, a friend, a kind man, and a son.
This is me. I'm addicted to life.

A contest entry

Cmmt whatever you see fit.

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 9 of 9
  • star wars fanatic
    December 18, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    The form I created didn't come out for that list, but I was trying to create a step effect.

  • star wars fanatic
    December 18, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Okay, what you have here is what I'd like to call a draft. The words are fine, but they are not yet inform. This is more like what I visualize for the first stanza:

    Addiction: the uncontrollable compulsion
    to do something over and over
    The devastation I bring matters not.
    You, your family, or your future--
    It all means nothing.

    See what I mean? Prose with form. The same for the second stanza and then for the third, some creative structure maybe?

    I'm addicted to sex,
    love,
    hate,
    drama,
    coke,
    weed,
    alcohol,
    psychotic behavior, lying,
    eating,
    and above all writing.
    I'll...never...stop.

    And the last stanza is good, except for, I think you shouldmake the last line two lines. The piece is not bad, but it DOES need structure. thx for entering, and let me know how you feel about tese changes.


  • Sandra R Reynolds gold member
    December 6, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    If this is you LOL your quite a guy. i hope you get help before too late.


  • Maybe Anastasia
    November 2, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Interesting. I like the line addicted to life though I would go a total different direction with it myself. Good thoughts.


  • rainekvala
    November 2, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    very nice. and a bit visual too


  • Angelic Princess21
    November 2, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    this is very good. thank you for sharing this. and keep up the good work.
    Angel


  • Billiebaby
    November 1, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Good work

    I like the flow of thoughts, however I think it could sound a little more poetic. Maybe you can improve on your usage of words and language. I like the tone. It sounds like a journal. I like writing pieces that sound like journals. Just the fact that this is a poem, I think you should put a little more power in the words. Good work! Keep it up.


    • BigE
      November 1, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks for the honest opinion. I don't get enough of those, even though I'd like to.

  • LaurenLightning--x
    November 1, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Excellent!!
    I'm addicted to many things..
    It's physically impossible to be addicted to weed though.. it's a mental addiction or something. So i'm told =] I don't believe it though.

    I love this piece, it's straight to the point and it made me smile. Perfect.

    iChewGlitter - x

1 - 9 of 9