Searching for words for this....
emptiness I'm fragile
You leave me fragile
breaking with your words.
Criticism couched in compliment
can only go so far,
words of love appease my anger,
but you still have pierced my heart.
You claim love,
but all I hear from you
is "things that I don't like."
You claim love,
but what you're giving me
won't get me through the night.
'Cause my love sees through outer shells
encompassing the whole
And so this puts me through a hell
Because I love your soul.
So darling, lover tell me
where's the sweetness that we had?
I want once more to trust you...
But I don't know if I can.
you say these painful words must come,
to hold to honesty
So tell me
what you love, my dear
and tell me honestly:
is it me you love
or what you wish that I could be?
Author notes
I'm just...raw...right now.
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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I read somewhere ...
that most with most people it's the latter, i.e., I don't love you for what you are, but for what I want you to be. Who knows if that's true or not, but it sounds right.
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wow i like it a lot! sometimes me too I wonder " is it me you love / or what you wish that I could be "
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Why thank you!
lol, I got my answer, and an explanation too...but at the time of that poem I was not a happy girl.
Love and light,
Jenna
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this is fantastic. i love the line
You leave me fragile
breaking with your words.
and i loved where you wrote "i love your soul". i like the formating. it seems raw, so i guess it goes with the way your feeling.
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Wow. Yeah even before I read your author notes I was thinking to myself that you do sound kind of raw in this. It isn't as poetic as some of your other poetry I've read but it has a lot of honest emotions and thoughts all through it. I know a lot of women find themselves in those kinds of relationships that wind up hurting them more than they ever seem to help. I think you did a great job of expressing that and I hope you feel better after writing this.
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Yeah, I can see the rough edges to it. It's not bad though.
In the 3rd stanza, 3rd line, in my opinion 'are' would sound better there instead of 'is'. 'things being plural, therefore you need the plural verb. Anyway, that is just my opinion, take it or leave it.
~Donna~ -
Raw?
...like sushi, you mean? I like sushi.
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