She’s likened to a crystal sphere
once blown an iridescent glaze,
t’was placed upon an evergreen
in honor of more joyous days.
A cheery soul, so she’s been told
just flick her side you’ll hear her ring
a pitch; angelic - high and clear,
she sparkles while you hear her sing.
But nothing ever stays the same,
the years have swiftly slithered past.
I’ve watched her luster fade away,
those tiny cracks appear that last.
Now left to fetter out her time
reliving all her mem’ries dear
within a lonely nestled place,
encased by tissue; hides her fear.
Author notes
Fragile is a state of mind, though there are those who now live it's meaning every day. Thank you for the inspiration to write for the first time in months!
It needed to rhyme, so I've editted
In a list
A contest entry
- fragile by misselaineous.
800 points, ended November 13, 2007, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Rhymed prewrites only ... by ecrivain01.
750 points, ended November 14, 2008, 61 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Gold And Silver Trophy Poems! by MJ Forgives.
700 points, ended November 14, 206 entries
• next poem in this contest, • Add to finalists list, or remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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This is the first time I've read your poetry and I'm so glad that I did. The beauty of your words touched me and I would like to offer my congratulations on a very well deserved Gold trophy.
Margaret
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Hello Margaret, it's nice to meet you
Thank you for stopping by to view my scribbles and for leaving your kind thoughts behind I truly appreciate it
Have a wonderful evening!
blessings, Sandi
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Elegantly laiden words.
This rolls off the tongue extremely smooth. Hard to believe you haven't written in months...seems you are in very good practice. Congrats on the tin, this is well deserved.
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Thank you feetus for your time viewing and for your gracious thoughts, it's truly appreciated
The last two years I've been in a funk and I think this was one of only two or three written in 2007. It was origionally for a non rhyming contest, but Jim saw it a few months later and he was right it needed to rhyme, so when I came back after being gone a whole year and saw his contest, I finally put it to rights. I'm pleased you enjoyed it.
Thanks again!
blessings, Sandi
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High marks for this... I love the personified ornament with rhyme, meter, including a four-syllable word (iridescent) , etc.
The only downside is the last line... "hides her tear." Hmmm... that strikes me as kind of weak. Tissue dries tears, but it sort of hard making the jump from ornament to tears. Still, after judging 7 other poems in Ecrivain's contest, this brings home the most points so far.
Best of luck with this. -
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Thank you for your very gracious thoughts on this piece.
especially your heads up on the last line...it was suppossed to be 'fear' the f and t are next to each other and I never noticed the typo.
Anyway, thanks again and good luck with the judging.
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Interesting write ...
but I kept thinking it should rhyme and missing the rhyme each time. I guess that's one reason I write rhyme most of the time. Free verse just doesn't ring right to my ear.
Anyway, it's a good poem for all that. I hope your holidays went well and that all is well in your world.
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So beautifully done. So sad yet honest, which cuts the sting of tears. Congrats hun. So glad to see you find some words again.
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i think of my mother when i read this, she is beautiful and fragile now, this poem is very pretty and brings tears to my eyes.
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This is a very sad image, how the beauty of youth and usefulness fades to age. My father has reached this stage, and he is shuffled off I don't know where. There is a great sadness here, many blessings sweets!
You have been winkled!
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What a joy to have you pen race across the page once again.It is always with such anticipation the i click on your name.
As i know that the experience will always be the same Joy.
This piece turned out to be close to my heart My dear mother had a stroke just over a year ago and this piece describes her so well
Excellent
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Ornaments of glass and scattered sun rays is not only a picture, not only metaphors, but your fine poetry. Yes, every day is another one to live, with or without changes, fragile or strong. Nice way you found to express what this prompt brings to you.
~Sonja~
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