now you're fighting like the Devil, evasive and grotesque;
you're practically forcing me to keep concerns repressed.
i've been fighting Forces i don't know for fifteen years at best.
i think it's time for the bloody fight to at last be laid to rest.
you're coloring your story like it's a precious work of art.
you're practically forcing us to cut these bonds apart.
were you my Savior or my Downfall? will you flee before this starts?
was it you or me that fell? an Angel or a broken heart?
Demons grin and lure you in with shiny things to show,
waiting to sneer and drop you to the raging Fire below.
Angels offer to carry you until your own Wings grow,
and leave you when they see you rise from your traumatic low.
i knew you raised me up and told me all that i could be.
i also knew you dropped me when i gave my strongest plea.
fifteen years and a broken heart at last have made me see...
if you had been my Angel, you would still be carrying me.
Author notes
I did put this under 'personal', because I wrote it relating a current strain on a relationship I have right now. However, the metaphors in this (the basic theme of good vs. evil) could really apply to just about any situation with two sides.
I'm actually quite fond of this piece.
A contest entry
- Friends Come and Go.... by PerfectTonight.
500 points, ended December 27, 2007, 22 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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This is a beautifully written poem. I enjoyed reading it. Congrats on gold, you deserved it.
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i really like this one alot
it flows remarkably well
good job!
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Good
A refreshing poem that deals with the reality rationally and with blunt force, forgoing the dreams and promises of youth. Good word choices moving the reader with their impact and imagery. Nicely put, well written with poetic flare.
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worth the gold
I related to this piece in so many ways. I was once in a relationship that when i look back, I can't believe it was me.
The first two lines of the last stanza is true of so many people. When you are less than them, they seem to truly want to help you up, to grow. When do they change to wanting you to fail? Is it their need to be needed, or did you grow too much, too fast? If you aren't confident in yourself, it is easy for someone in the position of a lover, mentor, or friend, to pull the ladder out from under you, usualy the ladder they helped you up with.
Thank you for the great read, and congrats on the gold.
bob (hitthispuppy)
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this is lovely! i love the imagery & i love your choice of words, but at the same time, the only thing i didnt like about this piece is that the rhyming seemed forced at some parts. but either way, i enjoyed reading it =]
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On a scale of one to ten ... I'd say about a 7. Thank you for entering my contest and good luck!!!
Megan -
And fond you should be. Well written piece of poetry. I like the good verses evil aspect because as you say, it can be applied to any situation with two different sides. Well done and keep the ink flowing. Good luck in the contest.
~Donna~ -
This is very good. I don't expect anything else from you though. I like the imagery you use in this piece. Mainly when describing the good and evil aspects.
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