The lark
Hedgerows stretching as far as the eye can see on this perfect summer day like green fingers they point the way to everywhere.
Drystane dykes home to a million field mice and other creepy crawly things criss-cross the land like a patchwork quilt and high above in a cloudless sky a Lark invisible to the naked eye sings of the glories that surround her.
Fields of golden corn stir gently in the summer breeze and a butterfly on wings of gossamer flits silently by.
The sudden chug chugging of a tractor engine shatters the silence and a hare startled by the noise zigzags towards its bolt hole.
Down a winding lane two lover’s stroll hand in hand fingers entwined eyes locked on eyes oblivious to the beauties that surround them.
For them beauty lies only in the eye of the beholder
High above them in the darkness that is space eyes full of longing look towards the blue orb that hangs like a jewel in the inky blackness the most beautiful of all the gifts bestowed on mankind by a bountiful creator
Somehow the Larks joyful song reaches up through atmosphere through stratosphere penetrating the vastness of space lifting their spirits in this place of darkness and desolation.
©
A contest entry
- for truly talented poets and those who desire to be better by a gothic romance.
475 points, ended November 8, 2007, 22 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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you have a beautiful gift of providing imagery.
although with the structure of this poem... there's a huge sentence of imagery followed by another, and another.
each stanza different in it's own way.
i think your structure is the main thing you need improvement on.
this poem would be a lot more effective with some sharp, concluding, short, solitary lines.
each stanza could be a powerful line in a great poem, but fit together, it almost feels like the best part of 7 poems rolled into one piece.
i love your writing, and the descriptions.
it's just that, in one piece, it's too "full"
and it ends up taking away from the depth of the poem.
i recommend you turn each single stanza into a poem of it's own, adding depth, structure, and in-structure, as well as an enormous depth of emotion to each one.
thank you for entering.
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