A lettter home sent from over-seas
A relay of hope to the ones that he loves
To let us all know hes alive and well
Surviving the madness of the sand
Of hell on earth
To let us know that he has one month left
Before hes back home with his familly
With his now 2 year old son
To retell the stories
Of his experiance in hell
Signed with love
There everlasting son
Included in the words of hope
Is a photograph
Of there lovely son leaning
On the side of a tent pole
Looking all happy, all joyfull
All hopefull
At the bottom the only words is
Ill be home soon
A week later theres a knock at the door
A peek out the window shows a military uniform standing in the yard
Mothers ecitment hightens as she rushes to the door
She swings it wide open, thinking her son was on the other side
She stops and tears fall to the floor
Father rushes to the door to the sound of tears
He falls to his knees in shock
As the two men in uniform inform then
There son was killed in battle
He wont be coming home
He left me, his son to live alone
Without a father to help raise me
To help lead me
To help confort me
Moms working two jobs to support us
But im ok with it.
He died for our country
He died for us
He died saving me.
A contest entry
- postage due contest by rebeka.
1200 points, ended November 5, 2007, 10 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Support Our Troops by Frodofan.
450 points, ended November 20, 2007, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Prewrites by Myjoy.
1000 points, ended November 16, 2007, 43 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Pimp up my honorable mention or trophyless by leander.
400 points, ended December 4, 2007, 86 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - A contest to find the best AP poem by Megan Awesome.
550 points, ended January 23, 2008, 35 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Pre-write Mania for all! Give me your favorites! by Salt Therapy.
375 points, ended December 28, 2007, 80 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - are you my elemental being? by j-ay rose.
300 points, ended February 3, 2008, 19 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - prewrite contest 1st come 1st serve by serenity silvermoon.
900 points, ended November 14, 406 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Contest.
Comments
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very sad, pretty moving, and nicely written... i couldn't imagine what that might be like... and i certainly hope it isn't a true story for you, and rather wish that it wouldn't have to be a true story for anyone. thank you for entering my contest.
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Wow. This is very sad and very powerful. True story? I'm really hoping not. This made me want to cry! The spelling I'm over looking. Spelling shouldn't really count in a poem. But something that I didn't like about it was the repition of the word all in the second stanza. On a scale of one to ten I'd give it an 8. Thank you for entering my contest and good luck!!!
Megan -
What a very deep and emotional poem you have written here. I'm wondering actually if this is something that truly happened or not? If it is, then I'm very sorry to hear about this
Anyway, you definately have a way to grab the reader's attention with this poem. Such emotions aren't easy to 'avoid' and that draws the reader right in.
some oopsies I found:
Stanza 1:
Line 1: 'lettter' should be "letter" (one 't' too much in there
)
Line 3 (and 7): 'hes' should be "he's"
Line 7: 'familly' should be "family"
Line 10: 'experiance' should be "experience"
Line 12: 'there' should be "their" (at least, I guess)
Stanza 2:
Line 7: 'words is' should be "words are"
Line 8: 'Ill' should be "I'll"
Stanza 3:
Line 1: 'theres' should be "there's"
Line 3: 'ecitment' should be "excitement"
Line 8: 'then' should be "them"
Line 9: 'There' should be "their"
Line 10: 'wont' should be "won't"
Stanza 4:
Line 4: 'confort' should be "comfort"
Line 5: 'Moms' should be "mom's"
Line 6: 'im' should be "I'm"
Don't mind really about those oopsies just thought I'd point them out as I like that when people do it for me too (especially since English isn't my maternal language) 
Anyway, thank you for entering this contest, I wish you the very best!
Leander -
omgosh
I actually teared up at this. This would be a horrible thing to happen. I hope your alright, but the end of the poem seems to kind of state that you are. This was amazing so heart felt, i absolutely loved it. Kind of reminded me of whiskey lullaby by brad paisley, can't tell you why. More of saving private ryan than anything else.
Thank you for sharing this with the world
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Wow....i love this poem....absolutely extaordinarily awsome.....weird of you to make a poem like this what gave you the idea?
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Excellent write
Oh the heartbreak of the families when their loved ones dont make it back home my tears do fall for they gave their all to see us free and for his help now I ask myself what will we do for his family for they should never know need .
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beautiful poem reminds me of the people in war
who are away giving their live to protect us..
good work! -
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Why thank you for your comment, and i appreciate it mucho.
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Awwwww dear this almost made me cry. I have mixed feelings about the war and well from this point of few it seems worth it, yet at the same time how many more sons and daughters do we have to lose for a country that really has nothing to do with us other then there oil? A wonderful read, thank you for sharing.
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Anytime, i spent alot of time on this actually, i wanted to share a point and its getting across.
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I'm glad for the ending! For a minute I thought it was going to end negatively, but I am glad that it didn't.
Thanks for entering.
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thank you. Im glad that you liked it
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a nice personal touching poem, thank you for sharing it here.
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Ohmygosh.
I want to cry!
This is a beautiful write.
But so heartbreaking.
It reminds me of a scence from saving private ryan, when the mother finds out 3 of her 4 sons have died in war. Such a sad story. War is a terrible thing.
This is a lovely poem, best of luck to you in the contest you have entered.
iChewGlitter - x
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Thank you, i hope i do well,and as long as this poem gets read by as many as i can get to read it, then my message has been spread.
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very very sad...but very good as well
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thank you
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you're welcome
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Rawr?
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*nods*
rawr -
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YAY
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Amazing it made goosebumps rise very good
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i was trying to
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Beautiful....
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isnt it?
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