He is my worst enemy,
But still he has befriended me.
When my happiness has burnt up,
I am longing for his cold touch.
My soul beleives we are forsaken,
But my friend feels my hands shaking.
Little pink lines live upon my skin,
And there's always a new one moving in.
I beging to bleed from his kiss,
As his teeth slide along my wrist.
These tears fall from my eyes again,
But not from the physical pain I'm in.
My true wishes he never disobeys,
And he has yet to taste my veins.
Somehow I want to get away,
But I can't commit to Mr. Razor Blade.
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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haha.. nice work.. u actully made me think wat are u talking about.. mr razor blade..
nicely work.. very unique and abstract
abuyi
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Pretty good, lacks...something. The ending is nice, but the rest is a little...weak. I liked it overall though.
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Holy! This seemed different for you. A very powerful write. Very powerful imagery and emotion in this piece.
I hope this is just an idea you had for a poem. I hope you're okay.
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Can't help but wonder if the inspiration from this came from our many conversations.
This was wonderful...It's getting added to my favorites.
Love you very much.
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What a strange poem, haha. I liked it. It seemed a little bland, without much imagery, in the beginning... but once you hit the end it all filled in pretty well. Normally this would only make a B rated film, but in the right hands you come out with the US. Nice job writer.
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Wow, that was a clever ending and I usually don't like this sorta stuff but I was pleasantly surprised with this one. Keep writing
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this seemed a little bit bland to me..I loved the ending though, thats pretty clever but the rest was....i don't know...twee maybe. seems an odd word for a poem with dark content but thats the way it read to me. Just didn't hit me i guess, sorry.
xxx -
This poem is filled with such emotion. But well writen keep up the great work.
Amber
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