I babble...
On
And on,
And on.....
My tongue is finally still.
I can't talk, now.
Not through embalmers' thread.
Author notes
For Elora's challenge. The prompt was "succinct".
A contest entry
- I'll Be Brief - 2 Hour Challenge by Elora Danon.
800 points, ended October 31, 2007, 9 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Pimp up my quickies or snippets by leander.
400 points, ended December 4, 2007, 37 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
please tell me what you think, what i can improve
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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I love this piece..wonderful job
Ruby
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lol
I know the feeling of blabbing constantly
not that I'm like that, but my partner has quite a way of it
Sometimes I just try to ignore the blabs, but sometimes I don't manage to do so
lol 
Thank you for entering this contest, I wish you the best of luck!
Leander -
The brevity works well here, and you say so much in so few words. The spacing also works well-- it gives it that succinctness
-
vivid imagery in so few words...
Wow! It's amazing what you did with the word prompt.
Knight70
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A good piece and just one word over the limit.
I believe you could delete the "the" in the final line ("Not through embalmers' thread") and strengthen the piece even more.
Nicely done and thank you for your entry.
~Elora~
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Awesome!
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