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a cutting enquiry

  

 

 

 

  

this doctor's office life
with all the waiting-
 
white-coats on parade,
crisply dressed
with needles and string,
cutting with the same
precise question:
 
           "have you some certainty?" -
 
when only patriots, zealots
and those in love have that.
 
so I anaesthetise myself
with a "yes, I do." 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 13 of 13

  • NurseChilly gold member
    November 7, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    the white coats on parade... of course, lined up to all have a peek... a sideshow affair.. I hear ya girl.. i just know what doctors and nurses are like

    well done hun

    many thanks for entering this contest
    Good luck too... a strong contender for me

    G.x


  • J.J. Sass
    November 4, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I like that you turned the coats, needles and such into some sort of accessories.

    Nicely done, and best wishes in the contest.


  • AJ Morelli gold member
    November 4, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    this is terrific...

    the lines:

    "have you some certainty?" -

    when only patriots, zealots
    and those in love have that."

    really strong stuff...

    al


  • Cat
    November 4, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    just revisiting..


  • astralshepherd gold member
    November 2, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    we who inhabit hallways of uncertainty find mixed reception with the medical community, they seem to hold more doubt of life than we who struggle with it daily. Cancer, for me, was not easy, but i somehow survived - they did not take enough, tho, and i kept hoping they would finish the job - to turn the statement you have here from 'yes i do' to 'yes I am' A powerful poem and a winner as well. I think i will withdraw mine.

    Blessings and best wishes

    ~r.


  • michael thomas gold member
    November 1, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Those in love have insecurity
    shot through their words pretty
    for love is weak upon the boards
    of washed out cities / dead lords
    in rooms of hope white coats glide
    to sooth the fears death cannot hide

  • Suzanne Dia
    October 31, 2007
    Edit | Reply



    Of course you do.

    I never asked

    All one has to do is speak to you to know.


    • EvilKate
      October 31, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      ... ah, but which part of the dual-metaphor I encoded, do you address?

      • Suzanne Dia
        October 31, 2007

        Edit | Reply
        are you certain? apparently my sleepnumbed brain missed the other


        • EvilKate
          October 31, 2007
          Edit | Reply
          on all counts - certainly I am

          • Cat
            November 1, 2007
            Edit | Reply
            and this is what happens when i miss entries in my contests-

            i like this piece on many levels- i like that it sees beyond the obvious- not that every piece in this contest didn't -,but this just goes a bit further i think-

            if this were my piece- because the first line demonstrates there are many doctor's offices and doctor's visits in your world- the "on parade" feels redundant and cliched-

            white coats
            crisply dressed with
            needles and string

            there is an image you don't find everyday- and this is why you are truly just such a good poet.. nice piece kate- very

            m

1 - 13 of 13