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Flight of Fire

The dark skies are immediatly illuminated,
By the bright flames of my wings,
Those flames that dance and chase behind me,
Flying over the carpet of clouds.

My glowing feathers that sparkle and gleam,
And my beautiful ruffled tail,
That has such grace and beauty,
And guides the eyes below me.

The sky is alive as I fly far and wide,
Like I am a human torch of the Earth,
Alight with such life, and pure elixir,
And Chasing the stars across the sky.

I am the reality of the phoenix,

Leaving such smoke far behind me,
I am ready to burn away and shed my feathers,
And live a new life with dazzling new plumage.

Author notes

POM

Theme - fantasy, phoenix, myth, spiritual

In a list

A contest entry

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments


  • Arkbear gold member
    November 1, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Hi there Poet ~

    Let's begin with.....nice entry!

     

    I am not a fan of repeating your Theme throughout your write, but as you get to know us and join in more PO' contests, this area of review will become more noticeable to you ~

     

    I feel you brought a great Theme to us this Month ~

     

    You used a balance of *Show* & *Tell* perfectly ~

     

    I do think you could have done without all of the *filler words* and concentrated on your focal point and threw us into your write just a weeeeee bit more ~

     

    This is a really good write and shall score well ~

     

    Good luck Heather,

     

    Bear ~

     

    Title   9.7

    Flow   9.65

    Depth   9.85

    Theme   9.9

    Feelings   9.20

    Grammar   9.6

    Presentation 9.8

    Uncommonness  10

    Sit & Ponder Affect  9.75

    Ability to follow Rules  10

    Bears Score:  97.45

    Nice job~!


  • islekine gold member
    October 31, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Nicely done...

    I would change the line to leaving such smoke behind me....I think the "left" is akward...but that's just me!
    Great theme.
    Best wishes in the contest.
    Write on!
    *PEACE*


  • Swangrnv gold member
    October 31, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    REALLY GOOD!

    NICE IMAGERY! I like this!