I'm doing much better now
But don't take any credit
Because, even though you tried to help
You never could quite get it
...
I'm doing kind of better now
Just like I guess I should
But do you count my lonliness
As being any good?
...
I'm not really doing better now
I fake it day by day
I haven't found anyone else
Since you've gone away
...
To tell the truth, I'm dying now
A shell that can't survive
Passing through the lonely days
Trying to act alive
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
-
emo
This poem may be good, but if you don't try to write non-emo and non-depressing poems, how can you ever expect to grow as a poet? Try writing about something happy, with a background that isn't black. Get over him, whoever he may be, and be happy for once in your life.
-
-
I think it's better to get the bad feelings out.. I mean, how frequently do you feel the need to get the GOOD ones out? I know that's why I write- to get rid of the feelings that make me feel like I'm about to explode. Besides, look at Edgar Allan Poe. The man was a genius writer, and you can't exactly call him chipper without lying through your teeth. And there's nothing wrong with black. It can be sophisticated and classy, not just "emo". What a horrible classification for a color that was around far before the word was thought of.
And "getting over him" might not be that easy, that's quite a rude and thoughtless thing to say.
ANYWAYS, to my dear writer and poetess- I personally think it was a lovely write. How we always lie because we don't want them to worry, or want them to think we can't live without them... I guess the whole "cut off your nose to spite your face" notion goes into play here. I like the progression throughout the poem, as the truth of reality slowly seeps into the words until the whole of it is spilling out, but only just at the very end.
-
-
aww.. i love it--i would comment more but im to tired and i still need to pack
-
Here's the Breakdown:
...tell me who it is...I'll beat the crap out of him! arrr!
...but I did like how you broke down stanza by stanza...you captured the scene perfectly. and yeah, I know the feeling. I'm quite scared to per-chance run into a girl I dated not to long ago, but it will probably happen sooner than later. what will I say? maybe I'll just puke on her like Stan off South Park. lol. was that a little too honest. lol.
-Pap.
-
-
lol
Thanks. Haha. However, can't say that it's his fault. It was just like, ok, so there's this guy, and now I don't have any feelings for him anymore, and now I just think, "Ok, what now?" and I'm getting tired of not finding good guys.
Anyway, thanks so much for your feedback! Since I took my "break" you're the only one who reads my work anymore! =(
-
Adding your comment:
1 - 5 of 5
