Had to get a knife and cut off my wrist
With so much bitterness,
I bled out all of my sensitive feelings
At the same place where our journey began
Clouds over top gathered and fell as rain
I never knew my roof had a leak
Forgering in my mind an everlasting romance
Days of sunshine prevented me to see
Tomorrow's flood would soon drown me in
A fool of a lusting kiss and a broken spirit
who's sunset pales insignificantly
Now a prey of decadence.
A contest entry
- Heart of stone by Izu.
450 points, ended December 3, 2007, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Hole Through My Heart by The Nose.
301 points, ended April 28, 2008, 9 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - MAD IN LOVE ! (PREWRITES ALLOWED )(EASIEST CONTEST ) by Alex Hex.
300 points, ended May 8, 2008, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Short Poems by Pollycheck.
450 points, ended May 26, 2008, 179 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - cry me a river by patsoldcat.
600 points, ended May 20, 2008, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Me+Love=Pain by GypsyEyes.
300 points, ended June 2, 2008, 10 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Break my heart and make me cry by God is my reality.
900 points, ended August 11, 2008, 79 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 15 of 15
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very good...
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this is reall good
keep it up -
I love the intensity at the beginning. And I love the explaination of cutting. This was a good poem and I liked it a lot (ps. I love the background)
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Wow. The first stanza hits deep. I like how it showes like a blinded by love kind of feel. Ironicly enough I have a poem by the same title! lol good luck in my contest and thanks for entering
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this is a great write and it is what i asked for! something with emotion! thank you so much for entering my contest and i wish you the best of luck! CarnalNineTailedFox
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final edit
strong write and lots of feeling in it.
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thanks
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woooooooooooooooooow !! this was so nice !! i loved it more than the heights of the skies and the depths of the sees !! you do seem to have a lot of talent in you ,
thank you so much for sharing such a wonderful poem and best wishes in the cotest ,
your friend and host ,
alex hex -
LOVELY imagery, darling. "Forging in my mind an everlasting romance". A gorgeous line, and one everyone can relate to, to boot. It's a slow piece, melancholy and thinly disguised anger dripping off the end of every stanza like blood deliberately shed. I really like the closing line of the second verse. It breaks from expectations and rhythm, putting emphasis on it. Thought provoking.
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When we deal with troubled people sometime our dreams of everlasting romance do get drowned in the flood. Feeling insignificant does break our spirit and it is hard to show mercy to those who treat affairs of the heart so callously. It becomes easier once you can see that their leaving may be a blessing in disguise. You can mend a leaky roof quicker than a broken heart. Broken hearts only mend with forgiveness...
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This is a great poem
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This is very emotional and a good read. I really like it. Keep writing!!
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"Had to get a knife and cut off my wrist
With so much bitterness,
I bled out all of my sensitive feelings"
after all you can take...you feel so drained..u feel like doing just about anything to let it go.
beautifully written! -
A beautiful heart wrenching piece full of raw emotion. Poignant and so expressive. I loved it. Well done. Thank you for sharing.
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so sad, so beautiful and raw
xxx
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