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bait, hook and fish

 
 
 
 

 
line cast
with baited hook
and breath,
 
waiting in quiet
light, for something
to rise from ripples
on skin.
 
she's a deep-water
beauty-
better equipped
in patience

 

but I stand

steady within her
waters

 
for,

while I despise the art
of fishing,
 
I love the smell
of fish.
 
 
 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think (Critical Honesty Appreciated)

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 16 of 16

  • Cat
    November 1, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    LOL each time i've read this i've had to laugh.. it has sexual innuendo and oh my god! written all over it- ya dirty momma!


  • Grunts Girl silver member
    October 31, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    oh i feel like a dirty sea gull
    who just witnessed something
    that MY virgin eyes...
    are so virgin to
    lol


  • alexandrathegreat
    October 30, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    This is irony at it's best especially the last lines. keep knocking their socks off.


  • J.J. Sass
    October 30, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    What an ending lol! The whole thing is just so full of fish... yummy!

    Best wishes in the contest.


  • Dalaney gold member
    October 30, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    lol..."for I despise the art of fishing, but I love the smell of fish..." you are fabulous, darling...very very
    much so, and I've missed you (my fault for not having the time to chit chat like I desperately want to). I send you a kiss and a thumbs up on this entry.

    Love, Lane

  • Melissa Gayle gold member
    October 30, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    yummy!


  • NurseChilly gold member
    October 30, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    dirty dirty .... pure filth

    gosh... i should, should avert my eyes, but i can't help myself and with my one beady fish eye peeping through tiny hands... i peek and smile

    hehheheheh

    gorgeously gorgeous....


  • misselaineous
    October 30, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    loved this
    you are so exceptionally talented

    elaine

  • Suzanne Dia
    October 30, 2007
    Edit | Reply




    LOL


    that last line is just so dirty


    lmao


    but ..ahem

    the rest is lovely, really


    • EvilKate
      October 30, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      * innocent angel eyes*

      What?

      • Suzanne Dia
        October 30, 2007
        Edit | Reply
        hehe

        looks like you remembered a punchline

        ahem - ashblonde

        (I love knowing you have to try NOT to laugh everytime I throw that at you )

1 - 16 of 16