Compromised beliefs.
Feeling as a betrayer.
We allow the piranha to
devour all that we are.
An unjust war,
an ever-looming desecration
of people, Darfur, East Timur
Apartheid, Kashmir.
Power-whores and puppet-masters
twirling vital strings to
offer comfort that is deceitfully
disguised control.
Yet they are heralded as
a savior by "holy" men.
Even in superficial
supposed sanctity of temples
rants that justify AIDS deaths
as acceptable holy vengeance,
not their problem.
Guilt twinges of conscience
are eased as they chew the cud
of indifference and push it
to next cavity to lessen
the need to regurgitate
harsh apathy from bile's depths.
All of this in face of
Armageddon.
Whose light will spark?
Whose soul will cry.
Whose heart will break
and infect many to bring
about change.
We can only start with
ourselves.
It's our world, it's our future.
Author notes
we are as writers called to bring attention to social issues..promote positive change..the longer I write..the stronger I feel about this..
thank you for the anything goes...contest..the more people I can touch with this write the better.....maybe they will get active if it is just in their communities and bring about positive social change..then I have accomplished something..thanx for this venue..
A contest entry
- Poetry Challenge Round 2 - INVITE ONLY by Laura Lamarca.
850 points, ended November 7, 2007, 12 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Give Me a Poem by Marcus..
300 points, ended January 25, 2008, 21 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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good job
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yyaaaahhhhhhhhhhooooooooooooooooo! you go girl! well done!
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Wow
Excellent take on this prompt. Glad to see a trophy here. Very very well done. ~Pamela
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Rubric Grade A (94%)
Initial Impact/Reaction 9/10
Originality 9/10
Creativity 10/10
Line-breaks/emphasis/flow 9/10
Poetic device/verbiage 8/10
Ideas/metaphors/imagery 10/10
Cohesion 10/10
Understandable/makes sense 10/10
Overall poetic effort 5/5
Emotion/personality/edge 5/5
Last impact/reaction 9/10
Your final score will be given when we judge. Please don't edit this piece until after contest closes. Thanks. La x
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ok so lets just write something that kicks-ass .. and oh boy have you just given out an ass-kicking, its straight-down-the-line, in your face poetry .. the kind I love
Intial score - 9 -
Now that was just hard hitting truthful in your face writing!!! I LOVED it! So very...very true! Amazing the thoughts and feelings you expressed here...totally captivating!!! WOW...I have to read this again! STUNNED!!!
Blessed Be~
Suz
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"First Impression" score is 9
This is hard-hitting and factual. Only suggestions I have is a little word-economy...the removal of unnecessary words like "the", just to tidy up the flow a little. I'll be back in 5 days with a rubric grade for this piece.
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A fine hard hitting piece with the given title.It is a sad fact that mankind can have so little feelings for his fellow man, it is almost as if they do not exist.
As you imply only we can alter this thinking.The longest journey begins with the first step what a true saying.Excellent Good luck in the contest
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Your title is "It's Our World, It's Our Future"
Welcome to Round 2
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