Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read Contests Groups Learn Forums Store Help
 

Filth On Our Floors

Pound me down.
Down to the ground.
Treat me like shit,
no better then the filth on our floor.

You parade me as a prize
but a horrid disfigurement I hide
under paint and pins
And a pride you take in the things you buy
the rings and things with shining gleams
you use to take away the sting
of the love you made to me last night.

Ankle swollen but not yet broken
you gave it to me last Friday
Shoulders bruised but not yet bleeding
a gift from you for being defiant.
Thighs sliced open but not yet amputated
you gave it as a reminder
a reminder of your ownership of me.

And to think...
The neighbors thought the hard wood floor was just for show
But wood will be cleaned of what carpets cant hide:
filth on our floors.

Author notes

Dedicated to my ex: Acid, whom I was with for a year.

Every line is a reality of our relationship. I want no pitty... just needed to get it out.

A contest entry

all I want is honesty

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 8 of 8

  • DreamersNIght13
    November 9, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Whether literal or metaphoracle, your images are wonderful. The images they paint are very true of most people and the things they do. I can understand what you were saying. None of mine have ever been stupid enough to actually try and beat me physically, but they may as well have mentally. It's a good thing those scars can't really show. Then again, I suppose the ones given in other ways are just as truthful of their natures as any other.


  • gothickittenkisses
    November 9, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This is so sad and so descriptive.I really do like this it's the one poem that really gets a message to me but i don't know now what that message is.


  • Prison of Lyme
    November 9, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    That is very powerful!

    I am glad you got out of that relationship. It is good to get shit out. I was in an abusive relationship before too, and today I have a good man who deserves me. I guess it takes going through hard times like that too later realize what you are worth and do not deserve. That is
    so hard to over come and I admire you for asking for no pity. I don't pity you I embrace your honesty and creative writing style.

    Great piece,
    Ms Melanie


  • Sean Logue
    November 9, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    Brilliant.

    Wonderfully put, excellent.


  • Eruvande Almare
    November 9, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Powerful

    I'm impressed. Pain radiates from this with gripping realistic imagery. No flaw or fantasy here my friend. Your bare words rip open the core of the filth of humanity and you tell it like it is. I thank you for sharing this and giving a dose of reality because sometimes we all lose sight of reality in our dream worlds. Thanks for sharing and keep up the profound writing!

    ~Elizabeth~


  • Dogsandcows
    November 9, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Very smart...

    Such a powerful piece...It speaks loudly to the emotions and feelings of what some women endure. It pulled at my heart strings as I had a friend who recently admitted something similar to this. Very well done...

  • karabi
    November 9, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Very good

    Beautifully written poem describing very succinctly the humiliating experience of a woman treated by her husband/lover like a chattel. A deep sense of shame and anger is exhuding through these lines. A very good poem I enjoyed very much.

1 - 8 of 8