Four walls with just a desk and bed,
In the room, it's eight till ten
A single light is overhead
And someone's freaking out again
I hear a yell, a scream, and shout
A hit, a bang, and then it's quiet
I'm wondering "Will I get out?"
Or hear another raging riot
It's only me and ice cold air
'Cause in the psychward no one's there
And at that same blue wall I stare
With just this feeling of despair
Reality is fading
And my home, so far away
The nurses swarming and invading,
Will I go back, or stay?
My pencil keeps me company
In this room that's lacking sound
There's worksheets stacked in front of me
The silence, screaming all around
The freedom here, they won't allow
They took our hats, and took our shoes
There's one more diagnosis now:
A deadly case of the psychward blues
It's only me and frozen air
'Cause in the psychward no one's there
And at that same blue wall I stare
With just this feeling of despair
Author notes
October 29, 2007... I wrote this about when I was in the psychward... I thought I'd never get the fuck out of that place...
A contest entry
- Soooo....Please enter there are lots of points!! by ZzBrokenHopezZ.
900 points, ended December 6, 2007, 29 entries
Honorable winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Your Best poem! by Meet Your Meat.
460 points, ended November 7, 2007, 12 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - AP Family....Anything Goes!!! by leslielovesthomas.
300 points, ended November 4, 2007, 5 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - I by M a r l u x i a.
2300 points, ended February 3, 249 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - so..how about the bronze winners now? by Cat10.
600 points, ended June 2, 31 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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thanks for entering! this is an interesting poem! I enjoyed reading it and I love the rhyme! you did a wonderful job and good luck!
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Wow, this is an alarming poem. It was so easy to read, because of the skilled rhyme and flow. My best friend was in an asylum a few times, and I think she's had heard one breakout there. Nonetheless, in the room next to her. When she told me, I thought "I would be frightened if that happened to me." Excellent poem. Really helps the reader understand what you went through.
Thanks for sharing & entering my contest A N Y T H I N G ~ G O E S ! Good luck!
M a r l u x i a
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I know how you feel. the white walls and the empty stares of people that seem so much more messed up than you. but still your the last one to leave it feels like
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Wowzer!!!
A great write indeed! I love the dark imagery you have portrayed throughout, wicked. Best of luck in the contest! -
It must have sucked being in a psychward, but you did a good job using it as an inspiration for writing. You did really well with your rhyming and flow which is tough to do.
Your writing actually reminds me a lot of the way I used to write in high school... anyway you did a good job at describing your experience, now if you can just practice adding a lot more of the emotions you experienced I think this would really add to your write.
Take Care... good luck in the contest. -
Great write! Thank you for entering and good luck!!
Leslie -
I'm glad you did get out and can share with us your amazing talent for poetry.
There's one more diagnosis now:
A deadly case of the psychward blues
I think those are my favourite lines. As always the piece flows really well and the rhyme is great. Good luck in the contests and take care x
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Awesome!
I really like this poem! It is full of emotion and flows sooooooooooo well! Great entry good luck!
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This was good. It must've sucked being in a psychward. Well, at least you're out and can make the best of things now. Good write.
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yeah, psych wards are as bad as prisons. I used to be a social worker, and really I kept people OUT of the hospital, cause being in it could make them more crazy- but then again, the outside world really is just as crazy, and the more you get involved in it, the more you realize that, so perhaps if a person can really learn to deal with the psych ward, they won't be so surprised to encounter craziness in supposedly sane 'people', and will be able to move through life unaffected and in control.
This is a very well written and creative poem.
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