There was
Once
A
Doll
Maker
Who had
A
Unusual
Daughter
Who
Loved
The
Things
That
Went
Bump
In the
Night
So
He
Gave her
A beautiful
Doll
With
White
Silver
Teeth
That
Were
Sharp
To a
Point
And
Bit.
This
Dolley
Loved
To
Play
She was
White
Porcilain
With
Black
Marble
Eyes
And
Something
Wonderfully
Eerie
About
Her
And
There
Was
Something
Special
About
This
Dolley
Whom
The little
Girl
Named
Vampira
She wore
A long
Black dress
And a red
Bow in her hair
On top
Of her
Slick
Black hair
And one night
She
Went out
For
A
Small
Bit
Of
Midnight
Air
A contest entry
- Spooky by krymsin kyss.
600 points, ended October 30, 2007, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Do you like it? Its more of a spaced out story, yes, I admit, but do you like it?
Comments
-
erm...i didn't really like this at all. If you wrote it out in a traditional poem form it wouldn't be good so it almost seems like you put it in strange formatting just to get away with words that aren't all that good. maybe more description would help, real meaty description with a healthy bit of metaphor would be good...
this poem jsut left me a bit cold....sorry its just not my sort of thing at all
xxx -
not much of a poem, but i liked it good work.
-
hi
yes. it's great!
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