Personal Sacrifice

It all comes back like a bad dream
Feels like I've gone back to the past
Where my heart was once soft
I'd hardened it.
Preventing the continuous hurt people,
Caused from affecting me
Once I thought I belonged in oblivion
Wanted to it all to end
Times when the world stood still
Nothing moved, nothing breathed
I built my wall inches, metres thick
It all stings
Everything I'd bled and cried for
Thrown to the dogs
Scolding in the fire

I have nothing!
Nothing at all!

Forced down my throat each day
Life is unfair, I've had my fair share
I hate my reality
I live creating it all to be,
Butterflies and rainbows
Running... running away
If I dare turn my head to look back
It's there behind me.
I find you there, myself here
Taping over the cracks in my crashing wall
Dust, tumbling structure... pain
Exposed, naked, in flesh, shivering
Bruised and aching from my re-building

Build, build,
I have to re-build

Everything I'd promised and accomplished
Tumbling down
Battering my fists at my own sins
I hate my reality!
Never had... anyone
I need you
Spare me the pain
Barefoot on coals
Reaching out...

Please