Clean white walls
Shiny knives
Car ride with a
One-way Ticket
Innocence is out of style
I told you I was coming for your extermination
You didn't believe me
Now who's not listening?
Not breathing.
Your negligence to my insanity is most aggravating
A operating table, not for operations
but for disembodiment
your soul will no longer exist
as I put it the grasp of its most hated desire
Your limbs are of no use to me, So I'll bury them
with the rest of your disgusting body, but not
before taking out your heart and biting into it
to let the necture of your Folious pain drip
into my mouth.
~Taste bitter~
My murderous impulses become the public
and my insanity becomes influenced heroism
The bottle that was holding your stomach
now shoved in your breast
how do the points feel?
scream and tell me!
does it hurt or does it burn?
~laughs~
Yes, let me cut your mouth into a razor blade smile
so the screams you make can be heard
so you can bleed from your face not just your mouth
The blood of yourself must taste as sweet as
the cherry now blooming from my apple tree
I wipe your fate on your back with the
light of your last
cancer stick
Are you praying?
here let me pray with you so that
hell will have a reservation for two
down in the abyss of the dead
~And let me ask death if I can intrude on his perfect design....~
Porcelain face
silk lips
So beautiful
Such a wrong way to go
You see I like taking things apart
seeing how they tick
everyone has a hand that tells them what time to die
Isn't that amazing?
Fascinating to me, all the gears
and trinkets clicking and turning
and If you take the battery out
Everything stops.....
There is no heaven were your going
May you rust in hell for
The inadequate love you shoved upon me
I love the way your lips are sewn together
giving off the kind of personality
in which I can understand
your eyes are sewn shut so you cant peak!
Shh it's a secret what I'm doing
You knew this was coming so darling don't complain
I know they see it but do you?
It's clear it's plan
Why the hell wont the cops believe me!
I'm Positive I'm Insane!!!!
Author notes
I used The word/Term Scream
It might be aliitle grusome so watch out
#5
A contest entry
- Don't go to the light, when you can have more fun in the Dark! by luna-midnight.
875 points, ended November 19, 2007, 32 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - The Darkest of Your Thoughts! by Nicky Skittles.
825 points, ended November 12, 2007, 12 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Options. (for lack of a better title) by Puking Faerie Dust.
900 points, ended December 29, 2007, 24 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - ANYTHING YOU WANT! (Within reason) by BonaFidePoet.
300 points, ended November 26, 2007, 11 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Make me feel dark and emotional. Lots of options!! by Kia Tenshi.
600 points, ended December 13, 2007, 20 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - We'll die with the same knife... by xblakxrosexremainsx.
475 points, ended December 26, 2007, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Quickie: AP family? {11 Options} {11 Prompts} by Misfortune.
525 points, ended December 16, 2007, 7 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Hellish Brutality by hommie-t.
600 points, ended December 16, 2007, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - L@@K - 2in1 Contest! Surprise me poems! Prewrites welcome! by Melissa Burns.
450 points, ended December 24, 2007, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Insanity, psychotic, imaginative, creative. by BigE.
300 points, ended January 10, 2008, 29 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Show Me Madness...Metaphorically by The Squeeze.
360 points, ended February 19, 2008, 8 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Suicide and Pain by earthlover0915.
800 points, ended September 7, 168 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Here.We.GO. by RainbowXButterflies.
550 points, ended October 3, 67 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 19 of 19
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While utterly horrifying and disgustingly grotesque, I feel as if you did not properly meet the contents of my contest, which is quite unfortunate as this is such a disturbingly proper write.
Your depravity is marked only by your actions and it slowly eats away at you, however you marked your insanity by action, through the torture of this individual who has wronged you.
Yet I felt this was more like a "Saw" movie filled with gore and death rather then frightening imagery and sketchy deaths such as other more renown horror movies
Bravo and good luck!
A.S.
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I liked this. It had a lot of grotesque imagery (which doesn't hurt sometimes
) and made me feel pity for the person, yet wanted to make an evil laugh and not help, lol. There were a few minor things that I think could be fixed, but nothing major.
Thank you for entering, and good luck
Jeanette*~ -
A fab piece! I love writes on insanity, nothing better than reading a creative mind. You've hit the mark here. Very well penned!
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Thank you for entering my humble little contest, I am enjoying the chance to read all the authors unfamiliar to me.
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dude this is so freakin cool
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Moooooorrrbiidd o_O
Did you actually love them? It seriusly freaked me out lol! but that was the point wasnt it? it was pretty macabre i loved it! but you know i didnt c any love in there... maybe it was me. But the descriptions were AMAZING incredebly insane!!Bloody... Amazing work and awesome free-verse!!
This kinda reminds me of Edgar Allen Poe. You know the Tell-Tale Heart? Amazing.
Thanks for this very bloody and really insane write!
-Casey -
Great but to long, sorry but I will have to DQ.
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Lovely, never knew that such a dark, bloody vision would be very becoming to me. Love it! Good luck!
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wow I LOVE IT!
its so grusome yet you can feel the frustration that your going through. really nice piece.
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wow!
A bit morbid. But I get the drift. -
Oh wow, crazy good. Very, very nice sharp words. Love your hatred Good job, and thank you for entering!
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Sounds directly like A diary from one of those clients from that movie hotel by Quintin Tarotino, spooky, squemish and dark, this oozes a red hue across the screen and muffled screams when i ended reading it, well done!
w a dark shiraz
-jas
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Wow what a dark poem. Good though, I thought it was well done. Just a few things I wanted to point out to you..
1)"I told I was coming for your extermination" - I think you are missing a word in there
2)"A operating table, not for operations" - It should be an operating table
3)"as I put it the bowel of its most hated desire" - That line doesn't make sense to me, I may not be reading it right, or it's just missing a comma somewhere.. check it out
4)"before taking out your heart and bitting into it" - should be biting
5)"There no heaven were your going" - you are missing 'is' also, it should be where
6)"It's clear it's plan" - is that supposed to be plain? I wasn't sure, but it doesn't make sense.
as well there are a few spelling errors you may want to check out [insanity, your, abyss, sewn (not sown)]and check your punctuation, you are missing a few apostrophes. Consider editing and using spell check just so that it doesn't distract the reader from the poem.
OTHER THAN THAT THOUGH, GREAT WRITE! haha
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one minor spelling error should be your
"Yes, let me cut ypur mouth into a razor blade smile"
i loved it even though i am not really a morbid person although i would love for you to do that to a few people who raped me but thats just hopefully wishing anyways i loved it thank you
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WOW THAT WAS FREAKIN AWSOME as soon as i saw the flippin title i was excited by the way you are so not insane but flippin awsome *evil laugh*
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Great
wow, truely you are not insane, but dark genius. This captures a lot of emotion of your thoughts. Thank you for your entry. Good luck.
P.S. I like the newly added part about hell having a reservation for two.
~nicky
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lol, i don't think your insane, i think your briallant
lol, i like this, it was pretty much hilarious!!!
ahhaha and i love the torment you put into the victim, sweetness!!!
great job!
thanks for the entry and good luck
stephanie =] -
I really like your write it's so addicting, when i started ready i could not stop I had to finish reading it. I love the line "Innocence is out of style" keep it up.
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The is insane! I love this though. It is incredible. Seriously. I love it. I may be insane but its crazy thinking and I love it. Wow this makes me so excited. this is fantastic.
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