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[i.n.n.o.c.e.n.t]

My [b r o k e n] skin was made this way
~ So that I could let you in
To
  see
      my
        pain
          in
            every
                orifice,
And
  to
    show
      what
        gains
          I've
            made.
There's no [g.a.i.n] without [p.a.i.n]
That's just another [b.r.o.k.e.n] story.

///Baby, how can you know me
\\\When you don't know my history?
///How can you pretend to understand
\\\When you haven't experienced my agony?

[O.v.e.r.p.r.o.t.e.c.t.i.v.e] parents
& overprotective [f r i e n d s]
I'm so sick of everyone trying
To a*l*w*a*y*s breathe for me.

And
  hiding
    me
      away
        from
          the
            world
Because
    they're
        scared
          of what I
              might see.

But I'm not your [i.n.n.o.c.e.n.t] little girl anymore.

I've
  seen
      much
        more
            than
                I care
                  to admit
                    and so
                        much more
                          than you'll
                            ever know.

& I know you protect me (b e c a u s e) you care
{{But that doesn't stop me from feeling like shit}}

///Because you're always telling me what to do.
\\\When I should eat, when I should sleep.
///Who I can hang out with, who I can date.

<<<| So now every time I throw up, baby |>>>
Its my small act of [r.e.b.e.l.l.i.o.n] against society.

{{Y o u}} might {{s a y}} I'm {{w a s t i n g}} away
But I feel satisfaction because its MY decision.
[And.how.can.something.so.wrong.be.so.right]
It {{m a k e s}} me feel {{s e r e n i t y}} and peace.

~You made me promise that I'd never again cut.~
~You made me promise that I'd never again binge.~

Baby,
why
do
you
make
me
promise
these
promises
that
you
know
I'll
never
keep?

Author notes

option 1
Bags of Oranges Don't Leave Bruises

A contest entry

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression? • Line numbers
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?) (Line numbers)

Comments

1 - 15 of 15

  • x-Pretty-Odd-x
    July 21

    Edit | Reply
    Very powerful write, truly amazing. =] Excellent use of words and good job on portraying emotion. Thank you for the entry.

  • Midnight-x-Rose silver member
    June 25

    Edit | Reply
    very strong and emotional...I can really relate to this piece personally, as I have felt this way and been the victim of many a man who has stole me and taken away all I've ever cared for

  • Rainbowgasm
    June 25

    Edit | Reply
    Well, honestly, the punctuation is ridiculous.
    I think if you took it all out, it would have the same effect, maybe even a stronger one. The punctuation is too much third grade like for me.
    Other than that, I like it. I really like:
    "My [b r o k e n] skin was made this way
    ~ So that I could let you in
    To
    see
    my
    pain
    in
    every
    orifice,"
    Good luck in the contest =]
    ♥


    ~Princess of Shadows~

  • bananasfoster42
    June 16

    Edit | Reply
    i'm not crazy about DP's excessive punctuation, but the message to me is more important, and this poem rocks!! it has so much feeling to it! thanks for the entry!

  • Blooming Poet Greeters member
    May 11

    Edit | Reply
    Normally I hate this form of writing, but this one has so much meaning. I can't hate it just because its dirty pretty.

  • HeartbreakHeroine-x
    March 18

    Edit | Reply
    Oh my god... I know exactly what you mean here...with like all the feelings that you express in this piece... creepy.

    Well done, an enjoyable read. You express the emotions here ~extremely~ well and the dp was good as well. Loved it.

    ~QoA


  • KissMeImContagious
    March 16

    Edit | Reply
    apparently im continuing the trend of you getting into the finalists list in every contest.

    the ending blew me away. and funny, it really reminded me of last year, when I had some tough times. this is great.

  • NiccyNightmare
    December 16, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Wow, very deep and well written. Lots of emotion and struggle in this. Great write. Good luck in my contest and thank you for entering.
    ♥

  • danceswsquirrels
    November 28, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    awww. this was sickly sweet.. loooved it! Of course you can decorate the prow! Thanks again for this excellent example of dp for your entrance into the ppdpp!


    Jessa♥


  • RedwingSpirit silver member
    November 3, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Excellent poem i wish you the best of luck in the contest as well as in your future writes keep up the great writes keep the pen flowing

  • These Wasted Years
    November 3, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    ALL I CAN SAY IS WOW.TY FOR ENTERING AND DEF. GOOD LUCK

  • Forever--x
    October 30, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    may i ask why you went to a grocery store to buy a blade to slash your wrists? but powerfully written especially the last sentence. okay use of DP. not the best but also by far not the worst, rofl.
  • x-Black-Butterfly-x silver member
    October 29, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    wow sis this is a strong and emotional piece which i can somewhat to relate to and holds alot within it
    well done and best of luck


  • BeautifulDisaster9
    October 29, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    Fuck.

    Thats amazing.

    Welcome to the finalist's list, doll.

    =]

    ♥BD9♥

1 - 15 of 15