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Freed! [Double Sedoka]

Missing image

Mind games are warping

my soul. Your brutalities

are tearing my brain apart!

.

Are you enjoying

watching my insanity?

Voices screaming in my head!

.

Soul mates does not mean

excepting your abusive

behaviours and cruel tortures!

.

Silence, I refuse!

Revenge, it’s not worth my time!

Letting you go; I’ll be freed!

 

Author notes

Sedoka

The Sedoka is an unrhymed poem made up of two three-line katauta with the following syllable counts: 5/7/7, 5/7/7.
A Sedoka, pair of katauta as a single poem, may address the
same subject from differing perspectives.

Katauta is an unrhymed three-line poem the following syllable counts: 5/7/7.

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 15 of 15

  • Aussie Gypsy gold member
    October 31, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Yep it is the only way to go, you laid it on the line here and I hope you get some peace from sharing your thoughts hun

    Karen

  • TooRainbow silver member
    October 31, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Soulful write. Bitter tone. Great use of form. An excellent contest entry! Good luck!
    Sheryl


    • Poetic-Theorem silver member
      November 8, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      TooRainbow,
      Thanks for the kind and encouraging comments. This is the first time I have tried using this form in a dark write.
      "Soulful write. Bitter tone."
      Thanks for that great comment
      Take care,
      David


  • theDARK1 gold member
    October 29, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    as yours makes and marks the fourth entry, i see my work is cut out already as a judge in this one. i even was taught something new in poetry as i basically do most of mine in free verse without rhyme. was quite impressive with the pen here and style, DARK.


    • Poetic-Theorem silver member
      November 8, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      theDARK1,
      Thanks for your kind and encouraging comments
      I don't write dark often. However my wife does all the time and is great and I have learned much from you.
      The picture prompt is one of the most awesome I have seen in a long time. Catch my eye and gave me inspiration to go to the dark side.
      Thanks again,
      David


  • Viyanna Rosemarie silver member
    October 29, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    well, that is kind of what i thought when i saw this picture. it blew my mind to look at it and gave me a headache that seemed to linger far too long. a very good write from you. thank you for sharing your talent with me today. viyanna rosemarie


  • Desire gold member
    October 29, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Wow!!

    Powerful message You have brought forth my Friend
    Wow!!
    This one grabs at the Heartstrings!!

    Magnificent form You used too...
    Woooooooo Hoooooooooooooo
    Have never tried but will eventually
    give it a whirl

    Thank You for sharing Your Talent Sweet Soul!
    Keep that quill dancing
    Best wishes to You in the contest
    Many blessings too
    and much love~ Desire~*~


  • Amera gold member
    October 29, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This is wonderfully dark! You write the dark genre well. The picture you paint is as insane as the photo you posted.

    Love,
    Amera♥


    • Poetic-Theorem silver member
      October 29, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Amera,
      Thanks as always for the wonderful comments. I love that you take the time to read and comment on my writes.
      I know how busy you must stay between work and writing.
      Hehehe! I don't write dark too often, so this is kinda new for me.
      I saw the [wild & insane]pic prompt and I have felt this way in the past as well. Thus, writing this dark piece was rather easy. Amanda writes dark very well and I picked up much from her.

      Take care sweetie,
      Many blessings,
      Much love,


      David


  • rollingzen
    October 29, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    really interesting effect!


    • Poetic-Theorem silver member
      October 29, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      rollingzen,
      Thanks for the nice comments.
      The pic prompt was indeed awesome, so much credit needs to go to the host of the contest as well..."theDARK1"
      Thanks again,
      David


  • Manda Kathryn Greeters member
    October 29, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    A M A Z I N G !!!

    My Angel ♥

    HELL YEH! This is great! I swear to god I felt like you were in my mind, feeling and hearing exactly what I was during those three years !

    It's great you got all this from a wicked picture

    BEST of luck in the contest baby
    Stay safe
    I love you, always
    Your wife, Manda


    • Poetic-Theorem silver member
      October 29, 2007

      Edit | Reply
      Hello Angel
      Thanks for the wonderful comments. However, I hate the fact that you felt this way for so long. We both have been down that dark road.

      For the one that caused you this pain [I won't say names]
      I still want to feed him to the Aussie Crocks, and I know someone that will want to help as well
      Not talking about you...I'm sure that you would just love to watch however.

      Babbling now, I know this is a wierd reply, but just woke up from some strange dreams and this kinda popped out

      Love you,



      David


  • Andi. gold member
    October 29, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    wow david!
    impressive!
    i learn so much from ur poetry styles
    well done
    ♥ Dani


    • Poetic-Theorem silver member
      October 29, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Dani
      Thanks for the sweet comments.
      I always love hearing from you Sis-in-law!
      Hope you are doing fine!
      Take care of yourself and baby too
      Much love,



      David

1 - 15 of 15